The Three Things That Build Confidence on Stage and in Your Body with Mike Acker - 122

Most guys think they're stuck with their health because they they don't have the right diet. They're not going to the gym. They're not on the right program. It the list is endless. But my guest today says that that's the wrong diagnosis. Mike Oer is a TEDex speaker, best-selling author who coaches executives on why they freeze when they have to perform, especially when speaking in front of important audiences and people.
His framework has three parts. How you see yourself, knowing where you're going, and building the still skills to get there. Strip all the speak talk out of that. And that's exactly what men over 40, why they can't get their health in order. And that's what I speak to so much. So, we have a lot to cover today in our conversation and driven for health episode 122.
Welcome, Mike. Let's jump into >> what's the biggest takeaway that we want to our guys listening in to have for this conversation. >> Yeah, absolutely. So, where you are is not where you have to stay. So, I talk to people a lot about that when it comes to communication, whether they're nervous or maybe they just don't feel like they're good enough.
Their career has taken off. They're doing all kinds of great things in their career, but their communication is not where it is. They just get, "I'm stuck here. I've tried. I've worked with so many people. like I've tried something before. So whether it's your fitness, whether it's your family, whether it's your finances, whether it is your public speaking, where you are is not where you have to stay.
That's a really important parting part to start it because if you think that you can, then you can. And if you think that you can't, you're c you can't. I like what Henry Ford said. He said, "Whether you think you can or you can't you are right." >> Yes. So >> exactly. You won't sit down on a chair if you don't believe it will hold you. And you won't try and do something if you don't believe you can.
So right away where you are is not where you have to stay. If you're in some kind of spot, whether it's communication or elsewhere, and you don't like it, you don't have to stay there. Love it. I I totally agree with that. I I we'll talk about that with time. The present is where we are. And if you don't enjoy what you're seeing around here, you have the absolute right and responsibilities to change it and not just swirl around say the toilet bowl of just a mediocre lifestyle or a meh existence as I think my oldest would say. Meh. So
>> yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. >> So Mike, let's talk about some fitness. It's one of the common connectors that I have with all my subject matter experts that I bring on here. Why is it taking care of herself? Because you and I know that it it shows up in how you hold yourself, the confidence, the energy, the attitude, the posture and all that.
And so what are we doing at home? You have a young family. You're busy, right? You're writing books. Like all these things are happening, but you still need to take care of yourself. So let's break down the routine. What's going on there? >> Yeah. So every single day I start off with a 15minute mobility training.
So I wake up before 6 a.m. in the morning and I get down. I do a cat and cow. I go ahead and then then I do the child pose into a cobra, switch over, do 20 push-ups, end up doing some dead bugs, and it's a whole routine that I do. And I do that every single day. >> Yeah. >> And that alone I when I started that, it was partly because my back, I'm 45 years old and we have a one-year-old at home, one year old at home.
And and I thought, you know what, >> you >> picking up a one-year-old >> at 45 is not the same as picking up a one-year-old when we had our first son 11 years ago. >> And I thought, I got to be careful here because already my back was stiff at times. So, I started adding that in. So, I got the mobility. Then, I do some posture work.
I do posture work in the morning, posture work in the evening. Right there, I have a dinner roll from a chiropractor. And then I do some these kind of chin tucks. Then I do a door hang. And then at night, I do a dead a dead hang. And then I do another door hang. >> And then if it's a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, I go out for a run. So today I did a 4 11 mile run.
>> I always do that little extra just to push myself. >> And I did a 4.11 mile run and that was in 85 degrees. Super humid, just coming off drenched. >> Saturday is my long day. So I did 11 miles last Saturday. And then on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, I do a 15minute e-op. So, I'm not trying to be extremely buff or anything like that.
I want to be fit. I'm in my 40s. I want to be able fit my clothes. Well, I want to I want to feel I look back at some of my videos when our daughter was born and I just put on some weight and thought, you know what, shoot, I don't I don't want that. That's not how I see myself. That's not how I want to come across.
>> So, it's important for me to feel good about that. And if that means not having some espresso chocolate chip ice cream at night, then that is one of the things it takes, >> right? Yeah. There has to be a little bit of a say sacrifice. Not every day, but I I always think that especially in that situation.
How about we enjoy that ice cream or whatnot when it's in a family setting, not just because you're bored, tired, exhausted, stressed, enter any emotion that you could have at that time of the day, right? not the best time. So, I myself am training for a marathon with my oldest. He challenged me to a marathon and I've ran over a dozen of them and this year I'm going back for another one.
>> I too I'm 43 so I'm feeling a little bit different. I'm doing a lot more foam rolling sessions myself before after stretching a lot more. The kids, >> my older two that so Levi runs and he's a swimmer. Everett is a cross country runner and they'll be like, "All right, we're gonna go run.
" And I'm like, "All right, give me like eight minutes." And they're like, "You you need more like 15, right?" Yeah, probably because I need to stretch and blah blah blah. But it's important for sure. >> It's important. Yeah. Yeah. >> And you know, it's there was a point in time in my 30s where I was like, I was still still trying to keep up with the 25-year-olds and and I know plenty of people in their 40s, they are keeping up and that's that's amazing.
That's fantastic. and they're actually more fit than they ever were. Amazing on that. In my 30s, there was like, hey, I can still go out there and rock the soccer ball or whatever it is that it is. In my 40s, it's like, hey, this is actually not about competition. This is not about anything specific other than it is for me and my family, >> right? >> So, for me, I want to feel good.
I also get up and stage and speak. I'll be at an event in a couple weeks. I'll be at an event a month. I'll be at an event the next month. So, I want to go up and be able to fit the suit. I look at back at some of the speaker reels just over the course of time, different points in time where I was more drinking.
I don't drink anymore, but I was drinking and thought, "Oh my gosh, look how fat I look up there." >> And when we when we see someone who's fit, we just equate that with more discipline. And so, I'm looking, hey, I'm in my 40s. I'm speaking on stages a fair amount. I need to look the part. So, it's part of that. It's part for me.
It's probably just for my family. I want my son who's going into his teen years now to look at his dad and go, "Man, my dad is a stud." >> Yeah. Yeah. That's what I hope that they see. I'm trying to keep up with my older two, but they are faster than me. But today, my my middle school friend, literally Dan, I've talked to him about about him on the show, but we work out at least once or sometimes twice, three times a week.
He came over today and my third son, Maxwell, came and worked out with us. We did chess. He's like, "What do you want to do today?" place was do chess. And so fostering that and it's finally happened. It took longer than I wanted it to to start working out with my kids, but here we are now and and doing it.
And it's it is so important to be that leadership and that that identity so that they always see you as a healthy fit father that is a role model for them. And I I totally admire that for sure. And the confidence that you have to carry around, especially with what you do. Let's let's talk about that. So you have books, you've got your business, literally is named it, uplevel communications.
You speak for a living and help others speak too. So let's jump into some of your frameworks, why it's important to be confident and have energy and and have some skills around your message. >> Yeah. So so confidence is one of those multipliers. Confidence is if you think about a lot of people who are looking for somebody we want somebody who's confident in this role we use that word now confident what that means is the phentant part is from the root fidere and it means to trust and it's like it's not it's reasonable trust it's not like
hey I'm I'm going to jump off this building and I trust that someone will catch me okay there's no reason for that nobody can catch you from just jumping off a building on that but if you see a whole bunch of firemen down and they're holding one of those big trampoline type things and they like say jump.
Okay, you have confident trust that they're going to catch you right there. >> So that's the federary trust and then con is a multiplier. Now I write about this in my book speak with confidence. It's this red one up here if people are watching on top right speak with confidence by Mike Aker. So confidence is is a multiplier.
It means that we have trust in something. And when people walk in the room and they don't have arrogance, which is I am so amazing, I'm better than others. But they have confidence. >> Ego balloon head. You can see that a mile away, too. And there's a different there's a subtle difference, right? >> Yeah. It's huge.
It's it's confidence is like, hey, I've looked at what you look at Michael Phelps. He's going to go swim. He's not saying I am the best swimmer, even though arguably he is. He's not going in and saying, "I'm better than everybody else." He says, "I have I've worked. I've disciplined myself. I've done this, this, and this. I have confidence.
I have trust in my ability to perform at a high level." Now, that's what we want. We want grounded trust that we can perform. Now, if I go into a bodybuilding contest, I don't have confidence that I'm going to win. But if I get up on stage, I want confidence that I'm going to perform well and help people out. So where does that confidence come from? There's three different pillars like you mentioned that adds to this confidence and builds this confidence.
And this is what I train through. This is often what I talk about in executive presence. This is what my books talk about. And these three pillars give you reason, grounded reason for you to stand up in front of any audience and feel like, I got this, >> right? I'm ready to go. I don't have to doubt myself.
I don't have to be insecure. I don't have to fear. I don't have to have nervousness. I don't have to have imposter syndrome. I know that I know that I can get in front of this audience and perform well. Not arrogance. I'm better than everybody else. Not apathy. I just don't care. But confidence because you have the three different sources.
>> Yeah. Let's jump into what those are. And when and we talked a little bit before we started press record and I totally identify with these as well because they're undertones of what I have with any of the guys that I work with in my programs and and all the coaching because they provide that framework to elevate you as a person on a whole bigger level.
again, not ego, but have confidence in yourself. And even let's reference the the posture training because that's something that you shared. It's like, yeah, I totally get that. Why do you do posture training? And then we'll move into the framework. Like, so why is it important for you to do it in the first place? Because you're >> fits right into it.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. It fits right into so the three different spheres are essentially how you look, how you come across, how you're heard, and how you're seen when you speak. The second one is what you're saying. It's your messaging. And the third one is who you are. So let's go from that. That third one, the skills.
In fact, when I'm working with a client, taking them through my program. >> So identity message skills. Identity. >> Identity message skills. >> The skills is how the messaging is what the identity is who. >> Yes. And so if you if you dive in backwards and you go, let's talk about skills first, that's how I start working with clients.
And the reason why is I want them to get immediate wins. And if you can learn different skills that are going to help you. Now, there's about 150 different communication skills that I've identified. And I'm not talking about the way you organize your thoughts, that's in the messaging, but this is how you are seen and how you're heard.
And there's about 150 different ones, but some of them are very nuanced. And so there's about 36 that I really focus in on. And one of them is actually how you carry yourself because how you carry yourself does so much. When you when you feel confident, then you actually speak more confident. And this is where it goes really close with identity.
But we'll come to that in a moment here. So when you look at skills, we're talking about pausing, hand gestures, how you use your hands, your eye contact, what you do with your facial expressions, how you hold your body. Now there's a great study that Amy Cuy does, and she does this with Harvard. She spoke a TED talk on this and she talked about how expansive post posturing.
>> So opening yourself up, the Wonder Woman stance, Superman stance, opening yourself up, chest open, shoulders back just for a while actually changes your hormones. Now it's interesting. Some of that has been debated, but her take on it is basically when you hold yourself in this kind of Superman Wonder Woman pose, >> afterwards, you just feel, >> and really use that word, feel more confident. Go ahead and try it.
If you're not, if you're not, if you're listening, you're watching this, >> and you're going like, "Yeah, go into the go into the restroom." >> Yeah. go before you before you go speak in like the boardroom or something and just Wonder Woman Superman it up there. Hands on shoulders. >> Yeah.
So, right now everyone stop what you're doing on unless you're driving or something obviously, but even if you're running, you can still kind of do it. But hands on on hips, shoulders up, head up, chest back, big chest, right? And you you feel more open, you feel bigger, you take up more space in a good way. Right.
And really that that posture affects your mind and how you're feeling too, your mood. And for Emmy Cuddy, even the hormones, she says, >> "Same with smiling that you smile versus you don't smile, it changes." And so there's all kinds of different things that you can do. And posture is one of those skills that you can use. Now, it actually quite literally affects the way you speak because if your posture goes down and your chest drops >> and now you collapse, then you you're actually shrinking the space that your lungs have to perform.
>> So, so your lungs are kind of like a yogi trying to do some yoga. >> And if they're trapped, it's like they're in some kind of closet and they can't fully expand. So, if your posture is bad, then you're collapsing your lungs and you're you're not having the ability to really use them for speaking. And if you're just listening, then you can actually hear that my voice has changed from there to now here.
Now my posture is back up, my shoulders are back, my lungs have more room. Now I can use diaphragmatic speaking. And so quite literally your posture changes not only the way you feel, not only the way you're perceived, but the way you sound. Now when you get that skill, then it starts affecting you and giving you more confidence.
Then you layer it on with different skills. You learn how to use your hands so that you're not like Ron Burgundy in sorry not Ron Burgundy. So you're not in uh Ricky Bobby in the ballot of Ricky Bobby. >> I don't know what to do with my hands. So when you know what to do with your hands and you're expanding yourself, you're opening up and you know what to do with your eyes.
You know how to use >> pauses. You know the different skills that's going to make you feel better. You're stacking wins. >> I I tell it like this like >> I wasn't ever trained to do working out and I was never trained to actually go to the gym. So I used to like for a long time in my teens I would go to the gym and like goof off, right? And like not really do anything and like trying to do it. So I didn't feel confident.
And so I remember one time in college some guys were like let's go to the gym. I like right. So I didn't feel confident because I didn't have the skill of knowing how to use the equipment. >> Now many years later I've done some different training different things. Now I go in and even if I'm not a bodybuilder I know how to use the equipment.
So, I feel confident going to the gym with somebody because I know how to use the equipment. Same with soccer. Hey, let's play soccer. Let's do it. I have the skills. >> Let's play lacrosse. No, thank you. I don't have the skills. >> So, if you can stack skills in public speaking and know how to do something, it's going to make you feel better.
>> Yeah. And I love the skill piece on I I love the the quick wins. Any person I ever work with, they want to lose 10 pounds immediately. >> Usually, it's right. Why didn't we use it lose it yesterday? Right? So, we have to find quick wins and and these skills around them. Looking at a nutrition label, carrying a water bottle around, practicing portion control, understanding how to cook, putting together balanced meals, understanding how to un relate in a social setting.
Say Fourth of July is right around the corner. Can you go to that experience and still not not walk out with, you know, three extra pounds on your on your belly because of skills and understanding how to navigate the food line on the table there, the buffet there that they got going on and and the red, white, and blue popsicle sticks at the there too.
So skills are super important. When we find those skills and improve upon them, then we're able to start acting and and messaging and thinking and and define redefining who we are. So, we got the skills down and you shared a lot of good ones. I've come across a couple of them myself. I try to embody that because my identity is that of a leader of someone that helps people transform their life and through health, fitness, nutrition, and lifestyle and all.
So I have to embody those type of things. Now let's move on to the the messaging and the identity piece. >> Yeah, absolutely. So so messaging is the what it's what you're saying. And it's really important here that sometimes I'm working with somebody. I do this one-on-one coaching program and I said, "What did you do well?" Because I want them coaching themselves and they'll say, "Well, I got the message out.
" And like man, that is never the goal. That's not a win. Getting the message out there. getting the message is like, "Hey, we're playing sports." And you said, "What did you do well?" And I kicked the ball. >> Yeah. >> Cool. >> Okay. That's great. >> Did the ball land in the opponent's feet? >> Did the ball go anywhere? Did it go out of bounds? That's not a win, >> right? >> The win is to pass the ball and get it to where you want to go.
So, the the goal is not just to get communication out. Goal is to get communication across. Now skills is part of that and part of it is your messaging. How are you going to do it? How are you going to get there? What's the framework? What's the approach? What's the system for doing it? And so when you speak, you want to be using systems to approach the different kind of conversations, the meetings, the updates that you're in.
Like if you're giving an update, somebody says, "Hey, give an update on this project." Most people go, "Yeah, so what we're doing is this, this, this, and oh, and and this." They kind of ramble it out. >> I call it stuffing. It's like having a pothole and you're just like, "Hey, I'm going to pour stuff into it until hopefully it's full.
" And what happens is most of the time they're filling it up with stuff that isn't the greatest and they overfill it. Now you got a bump instead of a pothole. >> But what you want to do is go, "Okay, let's look at this pothole. Let's strategically fill this up here." So, what kind of pothole is it? What kind of situation are you are you in? In an update, you might want to say, "Hey, here's what happened.
Here's the reasons for it. And here's what it means." Now, anytime you're giving updates, if you have some kind of regular type of communication, you want to frame it up so that you're not every single time figuring out what to do. The people who are doing something like building a house, they're not like, "What do we do? What's the first thing we do?" They have an approach. They have a system.
They have a frame for it. And for you, as you're communicating, think about the different types of situations you're in and frame it up. So, Brian, right here in your podcast, you have a frame. You do this intro. You do this. You do this. You do this. you wrap it up and so it makes it something that's easier to fill.
Likewise, a lot of times people struggle with how to answer a question. But if I said something like, "Hey, tell me about your family." A lot of people would go, "Well, you know, so my my son is this. Oh yeah, my my wife and I have been married for this amount of years and, oh yeah, we lived in here.
" And it's almost like, "And what's next?" >> But if I said, "Hey, tell me about your family, but let's do this. Let's have you start with talking about with your wife and then how you met and why you decided to have kids." Okay, that's your introduction. Now, I want you to talk about your three kids. Let's say you have three kids. One, two, three.
And then at the end, talk about the future goals for your family. Now, you know, all that content, you just got to fill in the mini buckets, >> right? >> Instead of just where am I going? So, every single thing that you do, you want to frame it up so that you know how to approach it. Conversations, conflict, putting someone on a performance improvement plan, whatever it might be.
Yeah, I love that. I love that. And and the the what's and and filling the pothole for me. We have a lot of people that they we start to acquire the skill sets, but then how do we get it to fit into their normal everyday life? How do we get them to still go out and pick healthy foods in at the restaurant or when they're traveling? Or let's not skip lunch just because your day is in quotation busy.
Let's have a plan B as an opportunity to be able to fill that in. Those are higher nuance things that we need to bring in so that the person can evolve and they don't just stay stuck and doing I'm just not going to eat carbs or or something like that. And very important to to evolve the person and have that framework of of even a meal structure protein first, vegetables, starchy carbs.
And when we have that type of approach and it becomes easier in your brain and ideally you are portioning it and it it works and then you don't have to think so hard about it and then even I I would have to say decision fatigue even comes into this because you're not wandering around what am I going to say next.
You already have a framework of what you're working through. So all of a sudden it's a lot easier to present the message that you have for yourself and then you can continue to move forward. >> Yeah. Absolutely. And sometimes people get they buck against all these kinds of things because of boredom. And it's a man protein, veggies, starchy carb.
Ah gosh, come on. Like again, can I do something different? And really, if you think about some of the best things out there, they are repeatable systems. >> Yes. >> Again and again and again. I mean, even the way your body works, your body's not wondering like what should I do here first? Uh it's it's >> when I wake up, what should I do? Well, you open your eyes, you take a deep breath in, you roll out of bed, right? For you, you have a mobility approach in the morning to get your body warmed up and ready for the day so that you can
function to a high level, >> right? Right. So, systematize a lot of these different things. It's going to make you feel better and better and better about whatever you're doing. I mean, even think about like you go to Steve Jobs with decision fatigue and wearing the same clothes every single the same type of clothes every single day, making it, hey, I know what I'm doing.
>> Then I don't have to think about something else, >> right? >> So, there's ways to spice it up, but you can spice it up within the bucket >> instead of worrying about it. >> Yeah. I love that because spice I always tell people like oh I mean you can eat the same thing you want or your creativity and your imagination are the biggest limiters to what you actually put in your mouth and the spice or herbs or seasonings and things or different ways to cook can change a chicken broccoli and rice meal if that's what
you wanted to eat that could make it look a little bit different every single day of the week and isn't as repetitive but it still has those basic stones the pattern the framework of how we put this thing together. So again, you don't have to think about how much you eat or what you're eating, why you're eating.
Now, this all comes up to a point of identity. And this is a huge piece for me. And the some of the biggest reasons why I do what I do is I get to see the changes in someone's identity and how they lose weight, gain confidence, and can go do bigger, better things. It's the most fun thing that I get to see of what the cool stuff that people start to do because they get out of their own way and they have energy to go do the thing.
So, what does identity in your framework mean to you and and how do we get these guys to change it and for the better, especially when >> Yeah. You know, it's interesting. So, skills is pretty cut and dry. It's like, hey, are you doing >> pauses, eye contact, gestures? messaging is like hey are you going from A to B to C to E and it's very organi but but identity is a different identity is a combination of so much it's your it's your background it's your socioeconomic status it's your friendship group it's your religion it's your culture
>> it's your skin tone it's your languages that you speak it's the family size that you grew up in it's your values it's your goals it's your dreams >> it's yeah it's where you live. It's where you have lived. It's a combination of so so much. >> That's a big list and there's more that that we didn't say, but yeah, that that really defines who somebody all kinds of different things, right? Eye color.
I mean, I mean, it's all kinds of crazy big things and small things, >> but at the at the heart of it, it's how you see yourself. And you look at all those different things. It's how you see yourself. It's like this is this is my identity. I see myself this way and grounded a reason. You know, for me, I see myself as very multicultural.
Now, if you're looking at the video, I'm a white male in my 40s, but I grew up in Mexico for seven years and I traveled the world. I've been to 30 something different countries, spent a lot of time doing a lot of different things and worked in an Indian restaurant through college to pay my way through college.
So, I see myself as as very multicultural in some ways. >> I agree. And when I look at that and go, okay, this is how I see myself and I have grounded reason for it. I have reason to believe these different areas. Now, how we see yourself affects how we show oursel. So, I see myself as a confident individual because of my skills, because of my messaging.
I see myself as someone who's able to get up on stage because of my knowledge, because of my background, because of the different training I have. I see myself as someone who has value to give to others. Now, all of that adds into how I show myself. How you see yourself affects how you show yourself. If you feel and a lot of people feel like an imposttor, they feel the imposttor syndrome that I don't belong here.
>> And if they dive into it, it's really a question of value. And when I'm in this environment, I don't feel like I have the same value as others. And so addressing those issues of value so that you can see yourself as valuable so you can show yourself as valuable through your messaging and your skills.
Now there's a lot more in it. I dive in my book speak with confidence. Half of it's talking about that in my first book speak with no fear almost the entirety is about strategies to overcome that lack of value that you have when you're speaking. >> But for for our sake right here without diving too deep into this I'll say two different things. One is learn yourself.
Learn yourself. Know yourself and really come to terms with who you are. Learn what you like about yourself. Learn what you need to improve about yourself and that you're actually going to improve and learn what you're going to accept. Maybe you look at yourself and you look at Brian, you go, "Man, I'm Brian's 43 and he's extremely fit and he's running marathons.
I am I'm going to be fit, but I'm not going to be quite I'm not going to run marathons." Great. Good for you. >> Yeah. Yeah. But that's a decision you've made on that, >> right? >> And so look at what you're going to do. Maybe you go, "Brian's got nothing on me. I'm going to run ultramarathons every month." Yeah.
>> I I blame my son. It's his fault. He's somehow probably going to finagle me into an iron man in two years when he graduates. He wants to do an iron man at 18. And >> well, I don't want to not do I'll do it with you. I'm I'm not going to train by myself, but if if you and I are going to do it together, there's value in that and the identity and all these things start going back.
But I was even telling them and we'll get back to it, but I the all the training that I've been doing is I feel like I'm 20 again. My body and I are there's a lot of friction happening with that. But man, the the youthfulness, the energy, the training and doing it, those are things that I identify with from my youth of getting out there and getting out there and and pushing myself and I'm I'm doing that stuff again.
So, it's it's really invigorating and gives me lots and lots of energy. >> Yeah. >> But you don't have to do you don't have to run a marathon listening in. You just need to do what's important to you. Success is is in the eye of the beholder and we have to redefine that for you specifically is exactly what Mike's saying.
So that we have the identity in alignment with how you message and how you think and the skill sets you need and and all that stuff. >> Yeah. And really looking deep into that and and identify I I tell people label yourself >> before you wonder what labels people put on you. >> Yeah. >> So look at yourself, study yourself and go I'm the type of person.
Atomic habits by James Clear says your habits stack up in such a way that you start thinking I'm the type of person who does this. So what you do starts becoming part of your identity. So you know I I don't drink anymore but I used to drink and I used to be the type of person because I would have habitually have a couple one two three glasses of bourbon at night.
So I started thinking to myself I'm the type of person who enjoys a bourbon at night. >> Right. >> I've changed that habit. I don't drink at all anymore. So now it's I'm the type of person who doesn't need alcohol and doesn't want alcohol. >> Yep. Yep. Same thing with I've had smokers. >> It gets people to change identity around I am a smoker to I'm a non-smoker and you don't think about cigarettes.
It's just not something that just like oh I'm just going to start smoking. >> Not relevant to me. I don't even think about it. >> Well, and this is where all of those skills work. So you you have skills and you have frames and then you start I'm the type of person who knows where he's going in my speeches.
I'm the type of person who knows what to do so that I can connect with the audience. I'm the type of person. So these skills work and then when you do that and you feel that identity, guess what translates to your skills more. >> So it becomes this upward spiral. Now if you bomb a presentation and you go, I'm the type of person.
It's not sub it's not conscious, it's subconscious. I'm the type of person who's not good at speaking. So then you go into speaking and it's preloaded. I always tell people like this. I always tell people if you told your kid what you tell yourself, your kid would fail miserably at sports. Think about this. misery. >> If you told your son, you're like, "Hey, you're going to a soccer game and you're not going to do that well and you know, people just don't want to play you as much as others and and your coach is is kind of indifferent to you and he's
like, honestly, you don't really belong in that team. Your place is just there because you're there and you kind of lucked into it. So, hey, have a good game." Would that affect your kids' ability to play? >> Gosh. >> Thousand times. >> Swinging a miss. No. >> But we do that all the time to ourselves.
Yeah, I just I'm not as good as others and such and and so grounded reason get the skills and then change the way you believe and these work together in tandem. Now you go rock it and you go I'm the type of person who goes into a presentation and owns the room. Well, now you build skills and you keep on this upward spiral versus down. So that was the first one. You be you.
Learn how to be you. Be the best version of yourself, not a poor imitation of someone else. Second one is it's not about you. So you be the best version of you. But just know this that anytime that you are going to presenting nobody cares about you at all. Like when somebody tuned in Brian's podcast here >> right now on a live.
>> Yeah. On a live right here. >> Yeah. And they're they're not going, "Man, I'm tuning in to support Brian." I mean, maybe your mom does, right? >> Yeah. Right. Right. But most people are going like I go and listen to Driven for Health because I like Brian's approach. I like what he does.
I like I see myself there. >> Yeah. >> So everybody listening the audience is inherently self-driven which is fine because everybody is responsible for their own growth. So you got to be thinking about yourself when it's about growing on that regards. Now everybody's kind. So you're like hoping that Brian has a good day.
You're hoping that Mike has a good day. However, >> yeah, >> you didn't think about that until I sent it. you came in here for you. Now, just notice anytime you're speaking, nobody cares about who you are as long as you don't get in the way of doing something that you're doing for them. So, if you're confusing, if you're unclear, if you don't look the part, like if you're speaking about something professional and you're in like garbage clothes, the days, you know, your lawn maintenance days, yeah, you're going to be distracting in that regards. So, don't
be distracting, but as long as you come there ready to help others, trust and you have reason to trust us. So grounded reason that you're there helping people and that they don't care about you as long as you can help them. >> I would totally agree with that and that's even part of the the this platform Dreaming for Health is I'm constantly thinking, okay, what is the listener want? I just earlier today recorded a GOP1, the good, the bad, the ugly podcast that's going to drop tomorrow and our podcast is going to
drop the next day. So Mike, it's going to get shot out here real quick. And but the point was is GOPs are really prevalent and people need to know and understand what the opportunities are for them, what things are okay and what things are nobody's talking about or you just don't really hear like it's not a magic thing.
People still don't lose weight on I have plenty of clients who've been taking for a while and nothing's happening. So why or they just feel ill or sick and and a lot of other issues can come up about that. So the idea is like okay these are obviously very prevalent. I'm getting marketed to like crazy not only from just an advertiser from like YouTube and then but also people are marketing to me of why don't you start selling peptides.
Well, I I think I have a good system and approach that doesn't need this to enhance weight loss and we can just eat real food and move our bodies and have a better relationship with food and and all those other things around the skills, the messaging, the identity of who that person is. And that's at the core of what I spend my time and energy on.
And not just like, well, I'll start selling peptides and, oh yeah, my program is going to cost an extra 1,500 bucks, too, so that I can make a profit or or whatever. Because that's that's ultimately what's happening with if someone's selling you peptides, they're usually there's a markup in the coaching and whatever.
So that that's news flash people, that's what's happening. If someone's selling coaching with peptides, you're probably getting upsold a nice a zero. >> Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah, all these work together and that elevates your presence, elevates your speaking, elevates your communication.
And when you elevate all of those areas, I mean, communication is one of those areas that we do in every single area of our life, >> right? >> We do it at work, we do it at home, we do it with our friends, we do it with social settings. And all of these right here, they pertain to all areas of communication. So, it's not uncommon for me be working with somebody and for them to come back and say, "Oh my gosh, this thing happened in my personal life, >> whether it's >> a dating relationship or >> y >> one person as a doctor I was working
with, she said, "Mike, I was I was at Home Depot the other day and my husband just paused and said, "You're different." And she said, "Wait, what?" And he said, "Well, in a good way. I just this this and this." And she reported it. She's like, "That's so great." She was using the skills in a way and it just came across and made her husband feel better in the situation that they were talking about.
>> Right. Right. I I always would think of that as more confidence coming from your partner, spouse, and that attraction level because certainly there there's an obvious physical attraction, but then there's a lot of other reasons why you're with the person you're with. and that confidence level.
Uh, you know, your your partner spouse could gain a few pounds and they're not as physically attractive as they may or may not have been, but all the other areas of of who they are and what they do end up being more attractive and that confidence is definitely one of them when their identity and their messaging and their skills and all these things are presenting itself.
That's exactly what I was going to ask is like what's what's some examples of people when they they show these things in real life beyond just speaking on the stage like what have you seen as as takeaways of people >> improving their their quality of their life? >> Yeah, absolutely. I mean I mean one is pay raises.
Like one person quite literally I was working with, >> she just improved her her ability to communicate and she was like, "Mike, I just got a $12,000 bonus directly tied." Quite literally, it was because exceptional communication. >> That's awesome. >> A lot of people who hold themselves back in career, they'll go back into career.
They'll be like, "Hey, you know, I'm I'm kind of a mid-manager. That's just who I am now." They grow beyond that. Uh, one guy quit a job, started doing something else. One person launched out to actually do what I do, communication coaching. I mean, there's people who because they don't start seeing themselves different.
It's like it's like running. When I first started running many years ago, 10 years ago, first time I got into running and it was because I'd wake up with my son, he was an early morning riser, still is. Get up before 6 a.m. and we'd play and I'd be like, "Let's go for a walk." And so I pushed his stroller and then I was like, you know, I'm bored on this.
And so I ran a little bit and so I started running more and more with him. So, I bought a running stroller and then we're running more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and I'm like, "Oh, that was three miles. Oh, that was five miles. I never done five miles before." I started seeing myself as a runner.
Those actions started and then I was like, "Maybe I should do a race." And so, I did my first ever race at that point in time. And so, from then, it's changed how I see myself and how I approach. So, >> when you see yourself differently because of communication, >> ah, you know what? Maybe I could do that.
So, one guy was like, I maybe I'll just be a salesperson. Now, he's a director of a company. One person is like, you know, I got to hire somebody to be the spokesperson for my multi-million dollar company, hundreds of million dollar company. He's like, I think I can do it myself. So, all kinds of cool situations where people were not doing it, not running the race, but now because they're a runner, I'll go run the race myself.
I'll take this opportunity. >> And that's awesome. And really that's like my big kind of final comment to lead everybody is where we started. Where you are is not where you have to stay. So start working on your identity, your message, your skills. It will unlock doors that you can walk through with incredible incredible ways that just benefits your life and others.
>> Yeah, definitely. >> What's one easy takeaway? What's a a nugget of actionable on this skills, messaging, identity? What would you tell someone just like, "All right, take this and let's run with it." Is it the Superman pose? Is it, you know, what what would you say as one thing for someone to do leading this cont? >> Yeah, let's let's do one for each pillar.
So, for the identity pillar, for who you are, do you have a personal mission statement? My personal mission statement is to help people realize their potential. And it's not like, hey, I just wrote that. I really thought through a whole bunch of stuff, >> right? >> And really came up with it online and also on my content.mmikeachacker.com. You can go in and get some resources to help you out with something.
But online, I also have a little book called the identity workbook to help you design a mission statement. What is your life about? Label yourself. Dive in. Create a mission statement. On the messaging, learn one framework. the most repeated type of communication you do. Maybe it's correcting your kids or maybe it's giving an update to your boss or presenting and leading a meeting.
Come up with some kind of frame for it. Not mapping out every single detail, but a frame. And then you can fill in the frame and the skills. Let's go back to the posture. Work on your posture. Go to the chiropractor or shoot take a picture of yourself from the side. Send it over to Chat GPT and ask ChatGpt to analyze your posture. I did that.
I was like, "Oh, >> oh, I was like, I haven't worked on my posture for a while. I guess I need to go do that again." And so, that was actually one of the impetus for me doing my morning posture work. >> Wow, that's pretty cool. Well, if we're listening in here, guys, we've got three pieces. We can start with the simple things like the skill sets, right? Those are the inch by inch, it's a cinch type things.
And the mile by mile could take a while. like identity does take a while to shift. And that's why say losing two pounds in a week or one two pounds three pounds in a week is something that we can by changing your skill set of understanding what you're eating, how you're moving, and how to put into your day-to-day. But then we have to continually build of the words that you use, the language, how you see yourself, and then ultimately changing into that identity.
And that's something I absolutely loved and why I brought Mike on was to talk about these pillars that create an ultimate life change for you. And if we go through that framework of approach, then you can see a bigger better opportunity so that you're not staying where you are and you can evolve into what it is that you want.
And you always should be evolving because life is evolving. Change is always happening. Even if you listen to this podcast sitting still like Mike and I have been doing, the earth is moving. So we literally have moved hundreds of miles probably at this point because of the the spinning of the earth in space. So life is always changing.
You have to level up there. So I want to thank you Mike for joining us here on Driven for Health. And all Mike's content will be in the show notes for sure so you can jump into his world. His book is still selling like hotcakes on Amazon. So you can check that out there as well and speak no fear and so that you can change that identity piece of who you are and and he can really help you do it.
Thanks Mike for for joining us and everyone have a great