Apply for a Free Health Hot Seat Coaching Session

Jan. 29, 2026

Why High Performing Men Choose the Hard Path With Their Health. Guest: Rob Wheeler - 55

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur, or driven man who keeps telling yourself you will “get back on track” when things calm down, this episode is for you. Because for most men, things do not calm down. Work stays heavy, family stays busy, and your health gets pushed to the side until low energy, extra weight, poor focus, and stress start showing up in your business performance and at home.

I sat down with Coach Rob Wheeler, founder and CEO of Battle Harder and host of the Battle Harder Podcast. Rob is the creator of Operation Relentless, a coaching framework built for people who have been knocked off course by real life. Career shifts, burnout, divorce, identity loss, business setbacks, personal loss. We talk about how to rebuild purpose, discipline, and mental toughness when motivation is gone and you still have to lead.

This conversation is for men who want fat loss, better energy, and sharper focus without pretending they have unlimited time. We get into fitness, nutrition, discipline, and mindset, and how small micro adjustments in training, food choices, sleep, and daily structure can move you forward even in your busiest seasons. We also talk about emotional fitness, loneliness, and why men need community, not another hype speech.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why “waiting to feel ready” keeps men stuck, and how action creates clarity

• How to build discipline when work pressure and family responsibilities are high

• Simple fitness and nutrition moves that support fat loss without overcomplicating your schedule

• Stress management for high performers who keep running hot and burning out

• The real role of mindset and reframing when pressure starts spilling into your marriage and leadership

• Why strong men still need other men, and how community protects your health and your work-life balance

If you want to be the kind of man who leads his home and leads his business with more energy, more control, and less chaos, press play. And if a guy comes to mind while you are listening, text him.

That one move might matter more than you think.

Coach Rob WheelerCEO, Battle HarderHost, Battle Harder PodcastWebsite: ⁠⁠https://www.battleharder.com⁠ (https://www.battleharder.com/)

Want help applying this to your own health, weight, energy, or lab numbers?

Coach Brian Parana offers Health Hot Seat coaching segments for men who want a clear next step with nutrition, fitness, weight loss, blood pressure, cholesterol, A1C, or daily consistency.

Learn more about The Call To Rise, a 100-day coaching program for driven men over 40 who want to lose weight, improve their health, and rebuild confidence:

www.thecalltorise.com

To connect with Coach Brian:
brian@brianparana.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for education and coaching support only. It is not medical advice. Always work with your physician before changing medication, treatment, or medical care.

Battle harder with coach Rob Wheeler to the show. Open us up with a hot take, please. >> Oh, I have to give you the hot take. I thought you had a question for me. >> No. Bring in the hot take for our episode today. Welcoming Coach Rob Wheeler. >> Well, guys, if you're here and you're listening to this, you're going to want to save this episode because we're just going to drop valuable information for you today because between Coach Brian and me, Coach Rob, we have a lot of knowledge. a lot of information that we
can give you so you can stop sucking in life and become the best version of yourself. >> Yes. Love it. Exactly with that. And with that being said, today's guest is Coach Rob Wheeler. He's the founder of Battle Harder, and the creator of Operation Relentless. He works with men and women who have been knocked off track by their life, have career setbacks, possibly burned out, divorce, trauma, identity loss, and he gets them on the right track.
He's not coaching from theory. He's lived in the trenches himself with a military background. We want to thank you for your service. I appreciate that. He's had loss, depression, and he's rebuilt himself and is a leader in his space with the people that he works with. and he focuses on discipline, structure, physical fitness, nutrition, emotional fitness, a lot of things that people don't realize.
They're looking for willpower and motivation, and that's not what he brings. He is all about the real things and real conversation and getting to the heart of things. Welcome, Coach Rob. >> Hey, pleasure to be here, man. I appreciate the opportunity to connect with you again. >> Yes. Yes. We had an episode.
It was many months ago and I happen to see you on the in the internet and the Facebook is like I I'm definitely it's time to have coach Rob on now that I have this is our 55th episode and it's like yes let's have some real men talk and he knows exactly what to do and say to get guys beyond motivation and willpower.
So some of the big ideas that we want to start off with is no excuses just results. Tell me a little bit more on your philosophy there. >> I've learned over, you know, the time of my life from military, being a law enforcement, all the trauma, all the setbacks, everything I've consequently been through up till now that if you make excuses, you know, that kind of is leading by, oh, I need to be motivated or I need to be in the mood to do something.
Well, we know that that typically doesn't work. And I like to tell people with my mental health issues, everything that I've gone through in life, if I relied on motivation, I wouldn't be here today. Nothing would get done. I would probably be severely overweight, have multiple injuries that I had to deal with from the military, you know, would just be a miserable person just kind of, you know, going through life on that autopilot.
We don't want to do that. We want to have the best life possible. >> You have to have discipline to do that. There's just no other way around it. And you choose. You had a real powerful saying that you get people. You choose which two paths. What What do you meanuck? I choose the hard I always choose the hard path.
So >> exactly. You're either choosing that you're being stuck or that you're moving forward that you are going through the hard and and and of itself. >> Yeah, definitely. Um you know that I didn't coin that phrase. I wish I did. That was actually from Jaco Wilnick, a very well-known Navy Seal. >> And just to like break it down briefly, the choose your heart is you have to think of which hard path you want, right? >> As far as like your your health is concerned, your overall health.
Do you want to choose the heart of eating healthy, working out, uh you know, improving your cognitive function by reading books and doing those things to have the best life or do you want to choose the heart of going through surgery, being sick all the time, feeling, you know, miserable all the time? So each path is hard, but you want to choose the hard that's going to improve your life.
>> Yes. Jaco says good, right? That's a very popular [snorts] audio track and video from his podcast that he goes through. It's if you find the clip, it's about three to four minutes long. It's worth searching. Jaco will good. And man, it it hits because whether everything's an input. It's all data and we can see it.
Whether we choose to think of it as positive or negative is literally just maybe our personal experience or maybe our energy at that moment in the time of the day. Maybe it's right now it's raining outside and I could take any type of data and have a little bit more of a frown on my face because it's not sunshine and rainbows out or something.
And we have to understand that everything is a reflection of the actions and the situations that we're in. And you have a choice to choose the hard or choose the I'm going to face this situation and improve upon it or get stuck and stuck is a terrible place to be in. Well, one of the books that I read to my daughter still I've read to all my kids that guys three especially if you have younger kids three stories a night.
Oh, it is a gold mine to not only spend time with your kids, but you actually teach and educate them and around words and language and all that stuff. So, it's it's a very valuable thing. My wife got me hooked on that and we've been doing it. So, I still read to my daughter and oh the places you'll go, good old Dr. Seuss and he has the waiting place.
It's the worst place in the world is just to wait. Now, I know that we had a pre-in waiting keeps men frozen and and why action creates clarity in the direction that they need to do to choose that hard. Let's expand on that. Rob, what do you see when people come to you in a stuck position? What are the situations or the the the environmental type things that keep them just waiting? So, so yeah, with, you know, anybody that comes to my path that's typically stuck, I've realized through, you know, research, through everything I've been through,
through what I do with other people, they're either missing my three pillars that I talk about a lot. Fitness, mindset, or discipline. And when someone's stuck, they're typically either missing just one of those components, or it could be a combination of two, or actually all three. And you know society and people will will dictate like for instance let's say I want to start a business oh it's not the right time like everything with with what we want to do is a copout right it's not the right time I can't do it
right now >> and then you start going down that spiral of giving those excuses to give you that out so you don't have to do the thing but I truly believe in no risk no reward if you want to do something time is definitely not finite like it is counting down super quick. You have to jump in. You have to jump all in.
>> And you can make those micro adjustments along the way so you don't completely fall in your face and fail. >> But without action, you can't do anything at all. >> No, you definitely action is the key to motivation. Action is the key to willpower because I always say those are two knuckleheads that'll never show up when you need them the most.
>> Exactly. and and being stuck will keep you in this waiting game for oh I'm going to wait to be motivated or I'm going to wait till January to start New Year's resolution and we're recording this on the 14th. Well, guess what? You're [laughter] already in that time frame of quitting your New Year's resolution and that's not going to move you forward.
Now for for you Rob, what area do you find that people are most stuck when they show up? Is it is it fitness, nutrition or discipline or mindset? >> And and that's the thing when I created what I created with the fitness, mindset, discipline, they all go hand in hand. And there's a reason why fitness is the first pillar because in my opinion that is the most paramount because I need people to understand that when I talk about fitness as we talked about in our pre-in totality of everything.
How we eat, how we think of ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, if we have any spiritual or faith that we need to handle, our relationships with our family, our kids, etc. And then of course the actual physicality of doing some form of activity, uh, eating healthy. And that's usually where people give up the most because >> it goes into once again that excuse perspective of, oh, I just don't have time. I don't have time.
And I always go to the there's, you know, I don't know who said it, but a lot of people say all the time, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. >> And it's up to you to decide how you're going to spend that time and where you're going to put that time. And even to the point where a lot of high performers and a lot of the people I deal with, they're burned out because they gave their life to work, right? They gave their life to that job.
They gave their life to making that money. >> See that a lot. >> And then what happens? You know, your marriage starts to fail. The kids start to see you less. You're you're stressed out because that leader or if you are the leader, you feel like everything's up to you. And while I don't believe there is a life work balance, you have to put the importance on what matters most.
And that's going to be your family, your marriage, your kids, and your overall well-being. Why are you going to give all your time and effort to a company that's making money off of you and what you do just so you can not put that time into your family, your kids, and the things that you want to do to keep you grounded and happy, >> right? I I think fitness is the probably the easiest, lowest hanging fruit here, too.
We start to carve out time that you need to move your body that you hadn't been doing the last 5, 10 or longer years. And when you take that time to move your body, whether it's simple as walking or getting into the gym or getting into a group exercise class or a personal trainer or go for a hike, a rock, well, whatever, then that allows you to start with the habits and behaviors of following through on that, too.
And just trusting yourself to follow through and do the things that you said you're going to do is so important. So it can start off with, hey, we're going to walk or move our body in this given time chunk of the day, which then gives you endorphins and you start feeling better and you might lose some weights and tighten tone up and that gives you a sense of empowerment.
And then we can start working on some of these other things. say the nutrition next or say the the discipline and the mindset piece because you took the first step and getting someone to move gets that in the right direction. I see it often times for anyone that I work with. Can you walk more than you did last week? Can you drink more water than you did last week? Can you sleep 10 more minutes longer than you did last week? We start with these micro decisions and and and behaviors to be able to start grabbing attention. And you get it just as much
as I. The guys that I work with are high performers. They are driven people. We don't need to to do that. We just need to get them out of their own way and give them actionable strategies that make sense in their everyday life. What's one tip or strategy that you use to get guys moving in the fitness direction? Do you give them a program? Do you just get them to move more or is like how do you how do you get them that internal energy that they they need to start doing bigger things? >> Well, I mean obviously we know that each
client is individual to their needs and what they want. So yes, I I mean I definitely can write fitness programs, nutritional programs, but like you said, so I think people get lost in a lot of information, right? We have so much information. We over complicate everything and that kind of creates another barrier to entry of I don't want to do this because >> I went down this rabbit hole of no CrossFit's better, no strength and conditioning is better, no running's better.
And I always start from a baseline perspective of what is it that you can see yourself doing that you'll actually enjoy. So if it's walking, if it's swimming, biking, I like to lift heavy weights. I'm a strength and conditioning guy. That's what I do. So I'm going to do that for longer because I enjoy it and I like it. So one, it's always doing what you like and enjoy because we don't want activity to be a chore, right? We want it to be enjoyable.
Um, and then two, it's like you said, I love the term micro adjust micro adjustments because we can apply that literally to every aspect in our life. Nothing always has to be this big, you know, momentous huge change, especially for nutrition, micro adjustments are huge. I tell my clients all the time, if you just walk and if you ate fast food three times a week and you cut it down to two times a week, >> already in a month, they're going to see significant changes.
most of the time is overconumption and not having a correct knowledge of how we eat, why we eat, and how we should eat. And even telling people like only eat if you're hungry. If you're not hungry, don't eat >> because we get in this cycle of, oh, I have to have six small meals a day. >> Meals a day. Yeah. [laughter] Exactly. >> You know, so so I think it's just adjustments and then meeting people where they're at.
You always have to meet the person where they're at. >> Yes. A thousand%. Yeah. cuz you could give them I I remember back in the day I'd write out 12week programs and then 7 days in something happened or whatever reason and then nothing became of it and that was disheartening because you just spent so much time writing this 12-week program for them to do and then we have to actually go to the obstacle the situation what's the biggest constraint for this person and how do we give them an action that they can follow through on and and build upon. Okay. So, we we
got fitness. I talked a lot about fitness, but some of the discipline or I I know we talked about emotional fitness too in our pre-in. let's maybe move into that direction because those are things I'm I find it's unfortunate but I find a lot of men in their 40s and 50s are lonely that they are doing life without community without people around them without bearing to their th their neighbor their brother in a sense of some of the hardships that they're experiencing and they just bury it and they bury it in a lot of different ways
food being the obvious one or alcohol or gambling or a lot of other things too, but those things take us away from what that true lifestyle or that that that identity of who we are in the first place or want to be is. So, what are some of your thoughts on say emotional fitness and we'll start? Definitely, you know, when we talk about fitness or I talk about fitness, emotional, financial, spiritual, and physical.
Like, >> yes, >> you have to have all those in place. And when we talk about stuff, and you probably talk about this too, we don't just focus on one thing. We take the totality of everything, take the best parts of what we can and put it together to hope we can become the best version of ourselves.
And one of the things that I'm really trying to break down is that stigma that men have to do things alone. And I think that comes from just our parents, our parents' parents, the generations. And I realized from being in the military, from being a police officer, that your team is important. And if you have the right people in your life, and it doesn't have to be 20, 30 people, it can be two people, it can be three people.
>> And I say this all the time, even for me, coaches need coaches. I have people I I was struggling today. And >> a guy that we've been friends with probably for 20 years now. He was my supervisor in the military. He lives, you know, a couple hours from me. I see him every time I go to Disneyland and have dinner and and have fellowship with him.
>> And I was like, "Dude, I'm struggling. I need some of that Quincy wisdom." And he's like, "Dude, I'll call you later today." And you have to have that. Like, you have to drop the ego completely >> and realize that we're not meant to go this road alone. And we need other men to have our backs to tell us when we're screwing up, to tell us when we're not going right >> because we're going to listen to them more than we're going to probably listen to our wife or just a coworker.
>> We use our different people in different ways. You some of these things you don't necessarily need to you need to be vulnerable and we'll talk about that with your spouse, your partner and all, but some of these things if I just talk to say coach Rob about this then I I get my needs met.
I have a plan and a solution and then I don't have to worry my wife about whatever else that might be going on and and her job and position in your life in a sense can be seen as different things. I have the three amigos. I have Andy's my running buddy, Chris is my my workout buddy and Dan is my middle school friend.
I know I've known this guy since middle school, but we work out together and by that we are able to do fellowship and have these conversations which then uh you know releases the steam from the ket and and we don't blow up, we don't boil over, we don't burn out, we don't have big shifts in energy and it can keep us level headed a lot more to be more resourceful and to lead and to take a moment to check yourself and and move back into alignment with who you are.
>> Yeah, definitely. I mean, even if you have to be a listening piece for men, you know, men are typically the proponent that go through the most mental health struggles with everything that we have to control. >> And I have a buddy, he's having a tough time with his wife right now. And >> if he calls me in the middle of the night and I can't talk, I'm like, "Look, dude, you know, I'm about to go to bed, but do you want to have lunch tomorrow?" And he'll be like, "Yes.
" And I'll just let him vent. I'll let him vent. I'll give him the best advice that I can for him, right? >> But at least in that moment in time for that hour, two hours, >> he's talking to someone that understands his plight. He's not worried about sharing things with a therapist. Now, therapy I think is good. I go to therapy.
But >> yeah, >> he he's not getting judged. It's just >> right. >> I have a problem. I need help. Can you listen to me? Sure. And amongst men, we need to do that more because what happens is we internalize everything. we don't talk to anybody and then that eventually becomes like a teapot. The kettle, you know, gets too hot and you explode, >> right? And that could be a wide variety of different things depending on your experience, your behavior, your tolerance for this.
And could be not good to just like you're grumpy >> y >> in a sense. So fellowship I I have found myself, we spoke on your podcast that I haven't had a relationship with my father for it's been about 20 years now. Yeah, >> that I just haven't talked to him. Just I don't know why. And I I tried after I I shared about my Tony Robbins experience on your show and and I got done with the Tony Robbins event and I felt compelled to reach out to him and it just was a very surface level conversation unfortunately which then I like oh okay I guess the TV was on too
long. he needs to get back to his programs or something like all right we'll catch you whatever and and so I have been I'm self-employed I am a father of four kids I have a lot of responsibilities and I don't have any time for other things because there's a there's a significant time cost so either I either do this or I do that and those are huge things that I've seen in a lot of guys and they just don't do health at all because they're too busy is he doing this or that and health just isn't in the priority list and so
finding these guys and and connecting with them is very important and and we do it and for me it's the best time to meet is exercise so that you know what else are we going to do like we don't we're not going to go to the bar and have a drink sure we can go do some things like I've gone to sports games or gone hang out at a concert or or different things like that but the that ends up being our our time that we can maximize together.
So now, >> and there's something and just to go into that, so and I'll give you this segus into a perfect story. >> One of my best friends, we lost contact with each other and >> we both thought the wrong thing why we lost contact with each other because we weren't communicating, right? He was going through his stuff, I was going through my thing, he perceived something, I perceived something.
>> But one of the things is we always worked out together. He was my he he was helping me when I own my gym. He's he's always been like my partner in crime, right? >> Yeah. >> And I had to make a decision in my life as a man. I'm like, look, I don't want to lose my friendship with this guy because >> we've had a great relationship.
We we don't really argue. Like, we help each other. We talk to each other. He's more like a brother or a family member than a friend. So, I reached out. We, you know, fixed what was going on between us, which was simple miscommunication. my fitness gains and my gym time has been so much better because we keep each other accountable.
>> Yes. >> And it even gets to the point in our text messages where he might be like, "Hey, I don't feel like going." Or I might be, "I don't feel like going." He's like, "Let's just go get it done." And once we're in there, we're pushing each other and and we're talking and we're we're talking about our problems.
And it's kind of like a therapy session for dudes who like to exercise. So I think it's definitely a good thing if you can have another man to do some form of activity with you. >> Definitely. Definitely. And I want to point out eventing session, but ultimately especially you being a coach and I being a coach, you are allowing the person to express themsel in a way that they can't around.
You have a safe space, a safe container in which they can do it, which then allows them to facilitate, okay, this is the problem. and and then they can start to create their own solutions. Your job isn't to actually give them the solution. Your job is to ask the right questions to get them to then be able to facilitate and become resourceful to find the answers that they need in their situation.
Because you only have this tiny, you know, what a 15 minute Ben session on what is the reality of what actually is going on and whether they share a lot or not that you only have a sliver. So you can't actually give the the a definitive thing. You can offer strategies and and potential solutions, but you're ultimately allowing them to open up and find those answers. Okay.
And and what what's the next thing that you need to do then? You know, that's a powerful convers. What moves you in the direction where you want it to go? It's a powerful question to be able to ask them to then get them to have those insights and then the pressure relieves. They have an action plan.
they can then follow up with accountability from you to say, "Hey, >> I'm going to do this thing and this is what I hope to accomplish with it and then next time you you're going to talk about it, [laughter] right? It'll come up." Uh, one of my workout buddies, he's going through a very challenging season of his life.
Unfortunately, his father-in-law passed away, his wife's father. So, there's that. That happened in the Christmas arena time season. So, very challenging there. Then he's also bringing on a new sales guy. He owns a company. He has four kids and he's got 11 employees, which I guess you could call them kids, too.
So, this guy's got a significant amount of responsibility and he's bringing a new guy on during the season. And so, we actually haven't been able to meet up, but I still text him and still keep tabs on him to make sure that he's still good. I actually dropped food off of at his house the other day just as I I just hey this is an easy thing you do.
Here's a meal you can put in the oven. You don't have to do a lot of effort energy with and I got some whipped cream for you too for the strawberries and whipped cream at the end for a fun dessert that's healthy and not just a bunch of garbage that you don't want to give your daughters and and and your your sons and stuff.
So it's a simple act, but that with with keeping him just in mind that he has a release. He gave me a hug. He's like, "Ah, you didn't have to." He's like, "Well, tough. I'm leaving it here. I'm not taking it home with me. You're stuck with this food for at least one meal to help you in this this time.
" And so, >> and I think you bring up a really valid point on that. Sometimes for men, you don't realize this. Sometimes all it takes is a text message, >> you know, just a hey bro, are you good? So at least they know that, >> okay, Coach Rob is here for me >> because I may not be talking to him, but he at least has the decency to say, "Are you okay?" >> Right? >> And I go to even the the point of telling my friends, my close friends that, you know, may be hurt or struggling or suffering, I don't care what time of the day it is, if you need
to talk to me, talk to me. We'll figure it out. I have your back. And if you don't need any help, just know I'm here, you know, in the wings waiting for when you do need me. And a lot of times that's helped guys that I've been friends with be like, you know what, I really needed to hear that right now or I really needed that.
>> And that's that accountability that we need to have with other men in our lives, >> right? >> Speaking of that, pause this episode right now. text someone that you can that that you feel might need a little encouragement or help or just a touch point so that you guys can reconnect and do something fun together.
It doesn't have to be on the the say the the sad part of thing. It could be on the fun exciting part like hey we haven't done something in a while. Let's let's plan some an activity to go do that's going to be fun. That'd be fun too, right? >> Yeah, definitely. I mean texting someone takes what? A second. >> Yep. So, pause this right now.
Text someone that is on top of mind as you hear this. And then see what happens. I'd be really interested. You even leave a comment below and I'll share with Coach Rob like, "Hey, the guy did the thing and and all of a sudden he's connecting with his buddy he hadn't or they're going to go set up something fun." You're a man of resilience, right? the even by the title of your program and your podcast, Battle Harder Podcast, and tell me how did you get to this place of resiliency and capacity or understanding that regardless of whatever this
situation is, it's still good. >> Um, I mean, it's it's pretty simple. You know, there's I think it's Mike Tyson that said like something about, you know, you can talk all this crap and you do every everybody wants to be tough until you get like punched in the face, right? Or punched in the mouth, >> right? You got to get punched in the face.
>> My life I've been constantly punched in the mouth. Like my life as far back as I can remember has never ever ever been easy. Um, you know, growing up wasn't too bad, but I really never had everything just given to me. I've had to fight for everything. And you come to a point in your life, if you're going through so much suffering, no matter if you're spiritual or not, you have to make that decision at that fork in the road.
Do I just give up and just don't care anymore and just quit and let everything go to heck or do I keep going, keep fighting no matter what? And I think as far as resilience is concerned, when people like me have been drugged through the mud so long, instead of saying why me, you say, "Try me." And you start looking at things. You still have bad days. Things still aren't easy.
But you're able to look at things a little more clearly and say, "Okay, I I've been through worse. I can deal with that." And that's the ultimate key for resilience is not letting trauma, not letting depression, not letting triggers, generational curses define who you are. Because at the end of the day, even with me having mental health issues, even with me being told I have a chemical brain imbalance, I don't refuse.
I don't use that as an excuse. I don't use that as, well, I guess I can't work out and I can't be a productive member of society and I have to live off, you know, government substance and no, I can still be the person I want to be. I may have to fight a little more, but what's again, choose your heart. What's the other option? Fight and and maybe have a amazing purposeful life and have more good days than bad or just give up and never know what you could become or what you could do or what could happen.
>> Right. Very, very well said. You're going to have hurdles in your way. You can either run into them and fall or you can learn to stop and go around them or you can just learn to hurdle them in stride like a track athlete. And your skills, your abilities, your mindset, your daily discipline.
There's a lot of things that lead into which avenue you go. the first one, running into it and falling over, getting hurt, scratched, bruised from the the the rough track, that's not a good idea. But even stopping and going around it or hurdling it, hurdling would be the obvious one. But if you can't hurdle some obstacles that in my view there's a lack of skill sets or a mental emotional maturity or some experiences that you haven't had yet to be able to manage whatever that situation is.
Because if you go into a situation you have it five times and you've learned every single time from the that very similar situation then all of a sudden you can hurdle it. Oh, I've been here. I've done that. I understand what this experience is. And then you can hurdle it. And and life is always going to change.
And you have to just be adaptive to learning on the fly in the experiences and the harder that you put yourself in. And both of us being self-employed and doing podcasts and and putting ourselves out there into the arena, we have a level of resiliency or ability to hurdle obstacles as they come and not just like, wow, I just spent x amount of dollars on advertising that didn't go anywhere or wow, I've spent the last five months building something and it didn't it wasn't fruitful.
But it might end up through all those learnings might be the shift and the pivot to decide to do the next thing and and then you can fast forward there. >> Yeah. And that definitely goes back to what we were talking about about those micro adjustments, right? Like I think a lot of times, you know, as we're talking about things, no matter what we want to do in life, whether it's lose weight, gain muscle, build a business, make money, meet that person we want to be in love with, we always have this really big grand, super almost unrealistic
thing. Oh, I'm going to be a billionaire and have 20, you know, Ferraris and a yacht. And but if you scale back micro adjustment like even like you were saying with the podcast and everything if I have you know two new followers in a month and that's all I have that's two more followers than I had the previous month.
>> So that's still growth and that's still a win. And I think we have to get back to learning that wins can be anything that's a microtransaction that pushes us forward. As long as it doesn't set us backwards that's a win. And and we got to get out of this thinking of everything has to happen now.
Everything has to be on a big grand scale. Like >> that's the problem is especially, you know, as I talk about a lot with like social media and stuff by roll, >> right? We see everybody's stuff and you're probably authentic guy. I'm a I'm an authentic guy. I don't sugarcoat anything. I just put my stuff out there as it is.
But then you see the the coach that looks like he's, you know, in that mansion and he's on vacation in Bali and he's got the perfect supermodel wife >> and then you find out, oh crap, you can actually rent these things for a photo shoot and put them on Instagram. So [snorts] >> that's so funny cuz I I literally had watched a short since we spoke that the guy was in a Airbnb and he's and at the end he's like, "Yeah, this isn't even my house.
>> [laughter] >> and he was playing to that that that lifestyle in a sense and and yes there's a lot of there's a lens that people are sharing themselves through and going back to the hurdles and the obstacles and understanding is try me instead of why me that's a a different lens in which you are able to look at because of the experiences that you've had in your life is there one that you've triumphed over that uh that has put you in a better place to share and connect with a guy.
I'll share one too. >> Yeah. I mean, I say for me it's it's mainly my mental health issues. Um, you know, as I've talked a lot before on other podcasts or telling my personal story between some things in my childhood, which weren't horrible, but childhood, military, uh, having trauma, police officer having trauma, then, you know, losing a business due to COVID, I was stacking trauma on trauma on trauma.
And a lot of things that I talk with, especially in the first responder community, but even somewhat in the high performance community, you go to a call or you go to work or you, you know, you go to where you're you're going and something bad happens or you're overextended or you're being pressured to do things that you don't think is right or you don't want to do and then you come home and when you come home, you don't re-eregulate your emotions, right? You don't you don't realize that you just saw somebody die or you just
arrested a horrible bad guy or >> you know your boss threatened to fire half the company if you didn't bring numbers up >> and you walk in your door and your partner's happy to greet you and they're like hey you know so happy what do you want for dinner you're like cussing them out yelling at them screaming at them and then they're like whoa you know I didn't deserve this >> no >> I used to do that constantly my anger was out of control I used to be the guy that would throw his hand through a would throw things and break them and
throw what I like to call now as adult temper tantrums, >> right? >> And my mental health issues are never going to go away. They'll be here till the day I die. But I've learned to recognize when I have a trigger that I can do what's called reframing. So I can say things, why am I really getting upset over this? Is it worth getting upset? Am I talking to my wife the proper way? Sometimes, right, we just go full boore.
And if we could just pause as soon as something clicks and you're like, "Oh crap, I can't be doing this." >> Yeah. >> And just pause and take a beat, that changes the game completely, that's gotten me >> probably having a ton ton more better days than than good. And >> as a real life expans, even though we had a pre-in stuff, I've been spiraling out of control with my business.
I feel between business, between being a student, between being a parent, between being a father, a husband, I've overextended myself again, which happens probably every 6 months, 7 months, whatever. >> You're a driven person. And I myself, I'm a driven person. And then you go with expectations or I it should be at this point or I should be making this much money or I should be this many followers or all this.
And it's yeah, it's disappointing when but when you gain one or two uh I had a thousand downloads that I celebrated a couple weeks ago. I wouldn't never have had that if I didn't start the thing. But why am I not at $10,000? Like dude, freaking chill out, man. Go ahead. >> Yeah, you have to look at those, like I said, those micro adjustments to to show us that, you know, you're winning.
And you know, if you could once again, if you could just take that pause, like basically as I was spiring out of control the past couple days up to yesterday and my wife's like, "Are you okay?" Because she knows I have mental health issues. She sees the the difference as we're watching a movie or something.
I'm clicking away on the the keyboard trying to book that next podcast or do that next thing, >> right? >> And I had to pause, you know, in the gym today as I'm working out. That's another place why I love the gym and exercise and fitness because you can kind of just like let everything go and focus on what you're doing. >> And after that, I was like, man, >> why am I freaking out? Like, I need to just go home, >> write down exactly the things that are paramount.
You know, it's that saying that I say all the time, control what you can and not worry about what you can't, right? >> And then sometimes you have to stop and say, okay, what are the controllables? Well, I can change my profile on Instagram to say this instead of that. I can change, you know, how I speak uh when I'm interviewing a guest.
I can make those micro adjustments that are going to put me forward just a little bit instead of trying to keep going down that rabbit hole and throwing stuff at a wall that doesn't stick, >> hoping that something makes me successful. So, I think a lot of burnout is because of that because I constantly get burned out when I'm trying to do too much and I'm trying to be a podcast host and a speaker and a podcast guest and a writer and a father and it like you just you can't do everything at once.
And as high performers, >> when we have that work ethic, we just want to go go, but it's just not going to work. >> Yeah, I I feel that one [laughter] a lot. I resonate with go and again falling into I only have this or that. At at the very least when you have these these moments of these light bulb moments of awareness of like hey I'm starting to fall into this path at least you can then reframe and it it keeps you off the couch at night more frequently right with your wife because you're just like oh I'm starting to go down this
path. I don't want to go down this path. I want to go down this one. And I'm sure your wife is a lot more appreciative when you shift gears, you stop and she sees that probably now. >> Definitely. And and one thing I want to highlight that with your audience what you just said, reframe. You guys really, you got to hear that word reframe.
That thing, that little stupid word is such a superpower that I can't even tell you. >> And that's just basically talking to yourself, talking to the people you love in a different manner. So instead of saying, >> right, >> I have to go to the gym. I get to go to the gym. >> Yep. >> I have to, you know, get home early to make dinner.
No, I get to go have dinner with my family. >> It's changing the perspective. So our brain, you have to trick your brain into thinking what you want it to think. Because >> as I've spoken to neuroscientists, psychologists, all the gurus in the world, as stupid and silly and woowoo as it sounds, what you say to yourself matters. Y >> and how you speak to yourself and other people matters.
And if you can flip that script, especially if you're a very negative, emotional person like me, and someone cuts you off and instead of yelling, screaming, you can pause and say, "Well, I guess, you know, they they're having a bad day or I guess they're in a rush, >> but I'm going to take my time and I'm okay." >> Right. >> So, Right.
>> Yep. Uh quick shout out to our wives. They put up with a lot. >> Mine probably more than most. [laughter] So I appreciate them uh for sure. Now what are some of your priorities in life? For me, I identify with a strong provider role. I am a leader. I make money. I provide for my family. I show up to their events, activities, and I I get things done.
like that's my that's my identity and family is super important to me and so is being successful in my career and I have to balance those there is no work life balance but it is prioritizing things at different times so for you what what are your identity how do how do you see yourself and and and all >> well I had a a interview with a a guy my last episode and he's a veteran who basically went from donating plasma losing everything he had to building like a $10 million business, right? >> And one thing that he said to me that
really resonated with me, he's like, "What are your core values?" >> And as I looked into that, my core values has always been what the Navy core values are, and that's honor, courage, commitment. So I always try to have the honor to always do the right thing, the courage to stand up what I believe in and the commitment to see my goal, my family, the things that I want to accomplish become real and become successful.
And I think most men in our arena like you and me, we try to follow that which I guess today would be old school kind of thinking that a man is a protector. You're going to protect your family at the cost of your life because you love them. You're going to provide for them. And I want men who are listening to this to to to hear this very clearly.
While financial uh stability is important and if you can provide that money for your wife is important, if you're in a season where you can't, but you're doing other things like making sure you know dinner's cooked, cleaning the house, picking up the kids, easing, if your wife's making all the money while you're trying to figure things out and you're easing her burden, >> that's still providing.
It doesn't have to always be 100% financial. You just has to step up as a man >> so your wife knows that you love her or partner and that knows that you're there >> and you're committed to helping them be better because the point of a healthy happy marriage and I learned this after losing a marriage of 18 years is it's not about what you can get out of the marriage.
It's about what you can give to the other person. >> Huge. And if I'm giving my partner as much as I can and they're giving me as much as they can with no expectations, you have an amazing relationship. >> Yeah. Uh that's that's you hear that guys? So we have to focus on giving. Yeah. That's where you get when you give you get.
And basic even if you want to say that into the lens of financial success when you give even Rob was saying hey I don't gatekeep information and that's that's that's right that's the right thing to do because if I can help you with a piece of information it moves you forward then there's more no- like and trust and if you know like and trust someone then you're more likely to do business with them in a sense if that is the offer and the exchange and so be able to give to be able to receive is super important.
I know if I give of myself and my people and my the people in my bubble prosper from that wealth of information, then I will get what I want as well. I just have to watch my level of expectations along the way and not not get stuck in viral mode. And why didn't my thing go a million views or something? >> Yeah, definitely.
I like to say all the time that kindness is free, right? And >> yeah, >> you know, we never know what somebody's going through. And it it always amazes me in society this day and age, why is it so hard to just simp like I always tell everybody and and the simplest, easiest things is what always works. So, you know, holding a door open for somebody.
>> Yes. First one that came to mind. You know, yesterday, uh, I had to go to UPS store and I had a bunch of packets in my house and I asked the guy, I was like, you know, he's he didn't see me. He's going in. I said, "Excuse me, can you please grab the door?" He grabbed the door. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
We both helped each other out. It didn't hurt our feelings. It didn't make us bad people. It didn't change the world, but that little act of kindness >> made our day just a little bit better. you know, uh, at the same time, a guy was getting out of the car while I was trying to get in the car, and he's like, "Oh, you know, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
" I'm like, "Dude, it's not a problem. I'm not in a rush. Have a great day." And he kind of looked at me like I was crazy. Like, it's like if you tell people have a nice day or I appreciate you or I love you or I hope you have an amazing, you know, whatever. It's like this isn't even existent anymore.
And I don't understand it because it's the simplest most basic need we can give to people to help them have a a good day or a better life at that moment in time. >> Right? Do on to others as you would like them to do on to you. The golden rule that's honestly leave the other person in a better situation than when you found them.
Those are two basic principles that I try and live by and help as people that I come across and it usually leaves me feeling better. Nope. Well, tell us about some of the things that you do. Operation Relentless, Battle Harder podcast. What are those things? What do they mean to you? How do they impact people? Well, sometimes like as we discussed, I think I do too much.
But my my whole goal is I just want to create a movement or a place where people can realize that who they are, where they come from, and what they do doesn't define them. And if they want to have the life they want to live, there's just simple things that we have to do daily to have good habits over bad habits to propel us forward in life.
And that comes from operating I don't want to say scarcity but operating from a place of like I said before knowing that our time is very limited. >> Yes. >> So if our time is very limited why are you going to pussyfoot around not doing what it is you want to do or not being who it is you want to be. >> Right. >> And even as parents we have to get to a point that like let's say my son has a big goal of wanting to become an astronaut >> and I want that for him because that's what he wants.
and let's say he's, you know, he's 16 and this he's like, "Dad, I'm set on becoming an astronaut." [clears throat] As a parent, it's my job to find out the information to pour into him everything I can to show him the support and help him go to that goal so he can potentially try out and be an astronaut.
It's not for me to say, "You can never do this. This is a stupid dream. Like, be realistic." >> Like, no. We have one life. And that just reminded me like here's a a crazy story. So, you know, my wife's a teacher. She teaches second grade. >> She is the biggest animal lover known to man. I call her the Latina Snow White >> because she wants to hug, kiss, hold, love every single creature, big and small.
>> Yeah. >> And she loves loves loves dolphins. >> Um we've done a couple swimming with dolphins. She did it before we were married. There's a place in Key West, Florida called Theater of the Sea, and they will actually hire teachers to train dolphins over the summer, but there's rigorous requirements to make the cut.
And because this is her dream, because this is on her bucket list, and because I'm the the strength and conditioning athletic trainer guru, >> right, >> I am training her >> now. I want to train her because I love her, but I don't want to train her because it takes up more of my time. [laughter] >> But this is her dream and it's a priority.
[snorts] And it even came to the point of we're training in an outside pool right now in our community, but weather's been bad. I'm like, "Look, let's go join LA Fitness down the street. We'll pay one membership. You can sign me in. We'll get in that pool every day and I'll train you." And the point is, regardless, she knows like this is a hard thing to try to get accepted for, >> but she wants to give it her all and she wants to try.
So, I'm going to pour everything I can into her >> and make all the sacrifices I have to >> so she can attempt that and hopefully have a a shot at coming close. >> Yeah, that's awesome. That's that's really cool. honest similar path for us. My wife loves to travel and we've done all 50 states with all the kids. We have done multiple countries and continents.
We're going to work on all seven as a family which is a pretty ambitious goal and unique to say the least with four kids too. But we're going to Machu Picchu in April and there's training involved because there's altitude and mountains and climbing and all these things. in the same some similar setup is that I need to make sure that I'm blocking off time to walk my wife to make sure that she has the the miles under her feet in a sense to be able to manage the altitude and the climbing because I want her to have a really
enjoyable experience while she's there. Not just like, wow, I'm really out of shape and I can't breathe. We don't want that to be the memory. And we're like, "Oh my gosh, this is amazing." And and have that effortlessness and such. So, I resonate with that, too. I got to find some time today.
Even it's like, "Okay, when are we going to walk?" I figured this out, too. I I will walk with her and we'll walk our dog. But I also figured out with Chris being out with his the busiest season of his life that I I will I'll have her walk right behind me as a treadmill and then I'll work out. this is my barn that I'm in and I'll work out while she walks.
So, I've been inviting her a lot. Hey, do you want to walk and work out and then we'll find some time. So, pretty cool. >> And that's, you know, that's a cool thing because typically the couples that can train together or do some form of activity together, even if it's just going out for a walk after dinner, tend to stay together and have better relationships.
>> Uh, thousand%. Walk and talk. I always joke with the my guys, you know, she wants to talk to you. You might as well get your steps in, too. So, invite her out on a walk. You'll burn some calories. She'll probably run away with the conversation. You can just walk and get your steps and acknowledge her and don't say anything.
Especially if she's the talk and you're the listener. Don't give her input because you will you'll sabotage yourself and the walking experience if you try and offer too much help or whatever. All right. Excellent. Excellent. Now, let's wrap up here. This has been awesome. huge key takeaways of guys identifying that you might need some help and it's okay to reach out.
Or maybe you need to be the one that reaches out to people that you need to set time aside for yourself to be able to think clearly to move your body to take action in some way. That good is a verb that we want to attach to our life of whichever direction that it is. And there's so many other really exciting things that we talk about.
I hope that you took something away from here. Rob, tell us about your mission, what you do with your with your clients, what your programs are, where they can listen to you on your podcast. >> Yeah, definitely. So typically I work with high performers that somewhere along the lines whether it's between work, marriage, kids, they feel like they're about to lose control and they know because they are high performers.
They're like, "Hey, >> I'm not figuring something out. Something's not sticking and I need to change that." >> And that's once again where I come in and I look at their fi fitness, mindset, discipline, and no sugar coating, 100% authentic. um and go right in for either six months uh or one year program to completely, you know, fix their lives and get them to a point because we know if I do like a 30-day or 60-day training, it's not going to be enough time >> to get them to rewire their habits, their brain, you know, their situation.
>> So that six months and, you know, 12 months is very >> paramount. Um, and that's through Operation Relentless, which can be found on my website, which is just battleharter.com. I don't know how I got lucky to have that domain name, but >> yeah, >> battleharter.com. You can find all the information.
You can find the, uh, podcast there, the Battleharter podcast, uh, does the same thing essentially. It gives you free information, uh, on my solo episodes that gives you help on how to communicate better, how to beat imposttor syndrome. But then the part that I love like having Brian on my show telling the real stories >> and showing you that we all go through the same stuff, >> right? >> We just have a different way of handling it.
>> And that way if you come to my show and you see like the episode, I always bring up the episode I had with a lady who helps people get over emotional eating. >> She was an emotional eater herself. She conquered it. She decided, "No, I'm going to help people do that." if you come to my show and that episode resonated with you, you can reach out to her and then you can talk to her and then if you want you can work with her.
So providing a storytelling but a resource where people can find answers to you know what's bugging them and then that way that kind of provides of well I listened to this episode and no one was in my face telling me what to do. I didn't have to set up a therapy appointment. I didn't have to set up a counseling appointment.
I didn't have to ask anybody for advice. But this person told me exactly how I felt. They spoke to my heart. So now I know I can do something about it. And the Battle Harter podcast is available all platforms, literally all platforms with the video being on YouTube. And once again, everything socials, connecting with me, everything can be found at battleharter.com.
>> Yeah, that's awesome. Well, I've been in Rob's bubble since I got on to his podcast many months ago, and I'll see him and I'll like his stuff as I as I pop around and and catch it. And he is a man of resilience, a man of effort, of pushing the his own personal boundaries and the people that he's around.
And I appreciate you coming on. And when you were looking for more opportunities, I said, "Hey, it's my turn to return the favor. you come on my podcast and and let's let's talk some good things. I I believe that we really had a great show together. All right, gentlemen. >> Yeah, go ahead. So, want to thank everyone listening in.
I hope that you took away some key things. If you did, comment below. I'd love to hear the takeaway. I'll certainly share with Coach Rob. And you can find his information and his podcast in the show notes. And off we go to episode 56. Thanks,