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Feb. 20, 2026

Why Successful Men Pretend They’re Fine w/ Andy Grant - 73

In this episode of Driven for Health, Andy Grant, founder of Real Men Feel, discusses the importance of men embracing their emotions. He explains how avoiding feelings can lead to stress, disconnection, and midlife challenges.

Andy shares insights from over a decade of experience working with men to overcome shame and fear, helping them to live more authentic lives.

Listeners will learn about the common emotional patterns men experience, such as anger and numbness, and how to develop greater awareness and resilience. The episode includes practical advice on supporting mental health through community and shares stories of men who have successfully navigated issues like addiction and depression.

Andy introduces frameworks like the Mankind Project and the Modern Mystery School, which help men reconnect with their inner strength.

His personal journey from struggling with hidden pain to leading a movement offers inspiration for men to embrace honesty and connection. This episode is ideal for entrepreneurs, fathers, and anyone seeking to improve their emotional well-being and work-life balance.

Whether you're facing midlife challenges or looking to deepen your emotional connections, this episode provides valuable insights and motivation. It's about enhancing your approach to life, relationships, and personal growth.

Andy Grant is a respected men's coach and energy healer with over 10 years of experience. His work focuses on empowering men to express and embrace their full humanity.

Join us to start improving your emotional health and discover your potential. Listen now to begin your journey toward a more fulfilling life.

Find Andy's Authentic AF group, Real Men Feel podcast and more at https://www.realmenfeel.org/

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Send Brian Parana a message on PodMatch, here:

https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/brianparana

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Coach Brian Parana offers Health Hot Seat coaching segments for men who want a clear next step with nutrition, fitness, weight loss, blood pressure, cholesterol, A1C, or daily consistency.

Learn more about The Call To Rise, a 100-day coaching program for driven men over 40 who want to lose weight, improve their health, and rebuild confidence:

www.thecalltorise.com

To connect with Coach Brian:
brian@brianparana.com

Disclaimer: This podcast is for education and coaching support only. It is not medical advice. Always work with your physician before changing medication, treatment, or medical care.

Welcome everyone to Driven for Health podcast episode number 73 and I'm speaking with Andy Grant from Real Men Feel and I actually was a guest on his podcast a couple months ago. I saw what he talked about. I identified it just me as a male in my 40s as the some of the the concepts and ideas that we're going to share today.
So, we had a really wonderful conversation then and I can link to that conversation in our show notes, but I wanted to bring him on to talk about men's health, talk about how real men feel. Welcome Andy to our conversation today. Let's jump right in. >> Awesome. Thanks, Brian. Glad to be here. >> Yeah, definitely.
And we talked about this in opening sentence and and to start our conversation off for the guys that are hearing you from the first time. What do you think most men are dealing with but won't admit it out loud to themselves or other people around them? >> Yeah. So, the first thing that I find too many men are blocked about sharing or even recognizing themselves is that anything's wrong, right? There's not one main thing they're in denial about.
It's that that the mask that everything's fine. Don't ask me. Don't ask me to go deeper. You know, um I find that the biggest mask men wear is that they've got it all figured out. >> And we've all been taught that to ask for help is to show weakness. And that's the last thing a man wants to do. Doesn't want to appear weak, doesn't want to be vulnerable, but that's what is needed to recognize something is off.
And even more so needed to ask for help around that. >> Right. Totally. I I can attest to it. I am fine. But if I were get around my close friends, then out comes more of the the challenges, the experiences, the day-to-day things that I'm feeling that I have to manage and navigate through. And that's one of the real reasons why I wanted to have you on to expose the guys listening into the show. Uh, cool thing.
I've been doing this podcast since September 23rd. I just passed 3,000 streams and downloads. I had 400 streams last week and it just keeps going up. So, when guys are starting to list and they're starting to follow and being able to be exposed to actual men having real conversations beyond obviously my focus is health, fitness, nutrition, but that's also a mask.
If someone's 20 pounds overweight, they're wearing their feelings. They're wearing their stress. they are challenged in a way that they don't know how to navigate or don't have the skill sets around to be able to keep the weight off and not have to worry about that one particular piece because that will slow them down in a sense.
Now when you say real men feel, what does that actually mean in plain English? And what do men do instead of actual feel? So what real men feel means to me is that authentic, genuine, actual, alive men are willing to feel their emotions, their physicality. Life is meant to be magnificent. Men should feel joy and adventure and courage and bravery and usually most men feel okay, right? Or angry, right? So real men feel means you are man willing to feel everything that shows up good, bad, indifferent.
>> Right. Right. And the full range. I I think I remember listening to a gentleman who talks about the vocals and communication and it being a piano. His name is Ask Vin. If you want to go find him on on YouTube, he's very popular and I really enjoy his stuff. But he talked about his the voice or the communication being a range of the the piano from way down here to way up here.
And and that is the same thing with our emotions, right? And and a lot of guys are just playing and that's their tune and they just have this daily grind. >> Yeah. That and that makes in my experience a dull life. >> Right. >> Right. Just vocally, we want harmony and dynamicism and ups and downs. And if if you limit how high or low you're willing to feel, you're also cutting off that other end.
>> And our daily experience moment to moment isn't be shouldn't be a roller coaster. But life should have ups and downs. You you don't know how good things are unless you've experienced how bad things are, >> right? But if you experience thing, if things feel bad and tough and you don't allow yourself to be grateful, you don't see the the bounty, the gifts, the support you have available to you, you'll stay down.
You'll stay in this negative trench, right? And that all energy is contagious. Like people say, misery loves company. Well, so does love and joy and happiness. They love company, too. So don't fall into that trap that you know so many men the only thing allowed if if anything was allowed it might be anger. >> Yeah. >> Right. And we're way more than that.
>> Right. Right. And what what is one or two different emotions that you see most guys having displayed with your you've been doing Real Men Field for what over 10 years now. What's one what's that one tune that they keep playing? You know, for so many guys, it's tune. I mean, the cover is on their piano keys.
They're just hitting wood, you know, but if they're willing to feel it might it, you know, anger is common and everything else is hidden. Shame, guilt, I shouldn't feel this or that. or you know uh they might be uh I've met men that are willing to say like their wedding or the birth of their children were these joyous moments that felt like they couldn't almost contain it and then they get back themselves like that was almost too uncomfortable.
But you know I would love for masculinity to be more tied with joy than it ever has been. But what I call this there's a distorted sense of stoicism. People study the stoics and we think that men are supposed to control their emotions which I agree but controlling your emotions doesn't mean denying them. It means I feel grief right now but I can't just start balling in this meeting. I will wait.
I can take this and I express it when it's safe for me to do so. It doesn't mean I deny I feel this grief. Right? Do people men have that type of support or those opportunities and they just aren't aware of it or do do a lot of guys just literally not have those opportunities for them? Well, thanks to the internet, such opportunities are available to everybody.
There are online men's groups. There were in-person men groups. I discovered the mankind project myself a decade ago. Um, there are in-person meetings. You could go to your church group. You can find men, you know, support is everywhere. But as with all things, if we're not looking for it, we're not going to see it.
So if if we're telling the world that we're fine, keeping everything to ourselves, yeah, that cuts off support. >> Right. Right. There's not opportunities to express yourself, there's not opportunities to be able to seek out further support or whatever that is defined as. And then also the future outlook doesn't change either.
you still banging against the wood cover and not actually able to express yourself to see what tunes could be played on the piano keys. Well, we'll run with that theme. The whole the whole conversation is really good. >> All right. [snorts] What got real men feel started for you, Andy, so we can understand some of the the the zest, the passion that you have for everything that you're saying today.
>> Yeah. So in like 2010, I began working as a coach and an energy healer. And most of my clients were women because women were willing to explore their their feelings, intuition, and get more woo woo. And uh guys weren't. But because I look like I look, women always assumed I had like this army of men that I've been helping somewhere.
And I was like, "No, I haven't I haven't found those guys, you know?" Um but I kept getting called feeling this nudge. I'm supposed to do something for men. And 10 years ago, I got a healing called a life activation. And it literally brings more light into your body and enhances your gifts and your talents and it makes your path clearer.
Within two weeks of that, I'm like, "Oh, Real Men feel. It's a podcast. Let's go." >> Yeah, we did. >> Yeah. Yeah. I found you at episode 300's or something. And so, where are you at now? Because you've been doing it for a podcast. How many episodes you deep now? >> Yeah. Uh 400 is coming up I believe for me. Yeah.
392 gets released this week and 4 and beyond 400. So it's it's not stopping. >> Yeah. That's awesome. That's awesome. And we're going to talk about some of the actual stories, the challenges and what comes of the guys that you talk to every day or join your group authentic AF and we'll certainly talk about that. So let's let's actually shift.
What are some of the challenges or how do you see men handling middle life? >> Well, it's different for everybody, but uh you know, well, I'll own this. My midlife crisis, good lord, I think I had a midlife crisis every decade, you know. So >> not limited to only at midlife but it's >> right right >> you know it's it's any time that uh surprise change end of a relationship end of a job any sort of challenge for men because in the past in 50s and 60s you went to school you got a job you had that job till you retired >> that's long gone so that's when kind of
the midlife crisis happened like oh the first point that your identity was challenged now it can be challenged daily >> but yes very much so >> I find it is mostly triggered through the loss of something a man's identity who he thinks he is is is out the window and they can be left uh you know a very uh feeling very isolated feeling very confused losing clarity but no man is only his job >> right >> no father is only a father right all of us as as thriving alive human beings have multiple roles that we navigate and
bounce from all the time >> right >> but I find that the challenge What turns into trouble is when a man sees only one aspect is all of him. >> Mhm. >> When I was younger, I didn't think I had depression. I thought I was depression. >> Okay. >> And I thought any day that I felt good and saw joy, I thought that was the lie.
And the darkness, that dark feeling was what re that was reality. >> And I had momentary blips of happiness. And that was a trick. You know, I had to focus. No, everything stinks. Everything's horrible. I got to this is the truth. >> Right. I can identify with that. >> Yeah. And that's nonsense, >> right? I I I will say I myself am feeling that.
I guess that's one reason why I even started this podcast. I started the call to rise men's program is the very first pillar out of the five is identity. It's the call. It's it's who you see yourself as. And when there's a discrepancy there, there's friction. And then that friction can turn into a lot of things. oil. Not enough oil in the car creates a lot of friction, creates engine seizure, and that then creates a very complicated, expensive repair or replacement.
And same thing with guys, the that midlife crisis is a a builtup of friction that has been lubricated or let off or released and then they are up 30 pounds. They're dealing with chronic illness. Their their marriage or their relationships are broken or not in or in despair on some level. There's lots of other things but I myself will feel that too.
I I strongly identify as say an athlete. I strongly identify as a leader in this space and I I do identify as a parent and as a husband but I I I identify to the provider more than the okay so I have a family but now I have to provide for the family. So I'm going to work work work work in a sense. I'm going to make another podcast.
So, I'm going to send another email, put another social media post, and that's ultimately what I'm starting to do is fill my time with that. Now, we'll take a time out. I spent at least four to five hours yesterday with two of my younger kids at a morning performance and an evening band performance. So, I'm still all in on family and I go to tomorrow will be the another 5h hour swim meet that I will be sitting at at the middle of the day for my older two sons.
And so, I'm I'm very much in it. I can see this this line of all right if nothing over here say my family or or kids or or any actions happening there or entertainment then I'm just going to fill my time with more work and that is a challenge that's creating friction in my life right now I invite you and all men to see that that provider role you are providing watching them swim you are providing When you tell your your wife that you love her, you are provi you're not providing just money and food.
You're providing stability. You're you're providing a warm embrace. >> You're providing love. And that's what too many men don't know. I have met men in their 80s who are in tears because they still remember and are hurt by the fact that their fathers never said I love you to them. >> Yeah. >> Right.
So that that man who never said that might be telling himself what a great provider he always was because you got food and shelter. What what do you want? Isn't that enough? Like that's a common thing I hear from guys that grow up with like grup dads. >> Great >> love, support, that emotional range, right? Teaching your children how to play that piano.
>> Yeah. >> Having that varied life that's providing >> Yeah. Oh, that's this is good. I'm getting chills. Energy. Good energy over here. It's a good reminder to hear these things that it especially with our fast-paced world. Being a entrepreneur, solopreneur, I feel things are speeding up quick and I'm trying to hold on.
I'm like, "Holy moly, like what's happening?" And and so there becomes this loss of identity. And then you pile that on of not taking care of yourself in a wide variety of different aspects from your health to your body weight to sleeping enough or not doing alcohol or sugar or any other addictive behaviors then uh like it compounds it.
This is a big challenge for a lot of guys. And I think that's probably where us two meet in our commonality, subtly different approaches, but the same outcome of improving a a man's life so that he can then be that provider for those people around him. and and I I don't have to wear a mask of saying I got it all figured out, but I can be open and honest and share these stories through the podcast or through my my men's group of of these these flaws, these challenges that I have as a human being because even that aspect of the
80-year-old and his father, my dad hasn't been an active role in my life for since college. I'm 43, so do some quick math. It's been basically two decades. I've seen them two maybe three times and it's not been any sort of depth or conversation and therefore I've got a gap and and that's taught me things around how to treat and interact and engage with my kids like showing up and being there for them at basically every event they've ever been to.
Uh and and then sacrificing of staying up late to make sure I check off the boxes I need to in business. But there there's a gap there and and I need to find very productive ways to make sure that I'm filling it and not just falling into provider role and I got to work to put money in the bank to be able to pay the bills and feed and and whatever else.
>> Yeah. I really wish more men realize I see it happening but me taking care of myself is an act of service to everybody I'm around. >> Yeah. >> Right. Brian being at his best serves his family, his clients, his community, everything. Yeah. Right. And and I >> despite best attempts, I don't believe anyone can have ideal physical health and ignore their emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
>> Right. We are all those things all the time. That's why even that life is only going to get faster and faster paced. >> Yeah. the the rate like I used to be so frustrated. There's more. Didn't I didn't I learn enough things? Oh, there's more, more, more. Now, like good, there's more. Right. So, that fast pace means you're still here and that you're still needed.
>> Right. >> Right. Right. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And that right there is just a change in perspective on on owning the fact that life is always changing. And I always tell people that too is that's I had a podcast yesterday with someone and the the last line of the thing. What advice will you give someone? And the advice was is that you have to be accepting that life is changing every single day.
And you have to be agile, lean, adjustable, and bend and twist with the challenges that come up and be able to have active solutions. And if you don't, then you need to problem solve and troubleshoot to gain the skills or the abilities or whatever it is to be able to accept the change and and manage it in a way that is still fruitful for you and still productive for you and and healthy for you and those [snorts] around you as well. Yeah.
And it all for me it all begins with awareness. That's why if I can't admit that I haven't figured something else, then I'm not aware of the help and and potential solutions that are out there. If I'm telling myself they're all figured out, if I can't figure it out, it doesn't need to be figured out, right? Then I'm not going to see solutions. I'm not going to collaborate.
I'm not going to learn. I'm not going to grow, >> right? And I think that last word is the key thing is grow. I know going for your opinion what is the most used emotion that you see men using whether it's anger, frustration, happiness. What do you see happening regularly that we can all take to grow from and get better with? >> Yeah.
I mean I unfortunately I see most men numbing and distracting to not feel any of that stuff. Um because we're we're more than one emotion. >> And even, you know, I want all men to live in joy. Well, not all the time. Then then you're like high and useless. You're like everything's great. You know, you got to be grounded. Right. So, cuz sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is be physical, take an action.
>> Right. >> Right. Uh a mistake I made long ago and I see guys do it when they discover their spirituality, the spiritual side, they might just like, oh, and it's it's not one or the other. Again, it's not like you're not in one role providing. We're always providing and we're always spiritual and we're always physical, right? We can't we can try to separate those things.
It can create more harm than good. But yeah, there's not one emotion that always serves you or doesn't. >> Your ability, your resilience with the emotional range. Ideally, every man does enough healing and letting go of the past and healing their wounds that I find the best emotional state is when you're in a place that you are willing and able to feel whatever shows up in the moment.
>> Yeah. >> That way there's no there's no road rage. You know, when you're mad, you know you're mad at what's happening now, not some 20-year-old hurt. >> Right. Right. Right. Speaking of that, do you how many people do you see are bringing things from the past and they just keep carrying it with them, playing back that old tune or record in a sense in their head from those situations? Does that happen a lot for the guys to just talk with and see >> all of them? All of us, >> right? Because that >> however we survived as a child, that's
what we remember when that's going to be our So for me, I was very suicidal. I kept making attempts to end my life. That became my default thought in the face of all challenges and frustration, right? From from everything from losing the job to getting a flat tire, I'd be like, "Oh, I should just kill myself.
" Like, it was bananas. It but it had to be so ridiculous before I could see this is ridiculous, right? But bring in the past with us. So the more resilient, the more adaptable and the more willing we are to have the awareness uh you know for a long time I just believed I was broken, hopeless, helpless and as long as those are my beliefs and I held on to them firmly, >> I kept bringing it with me everywhere I went, >> right? >> I had to be willing to unclench to let go of who I think I am.
Uh you know any identity, even if I think it's a great one or a miserable one, if I'm clinging to it, it keeps me from growing. It keeps me from being able to adapt with the rapid pace around me. >> Yeah, being adapt. Is there a story or a a person that you have in your mind that when you think of this transition outside of yourself, you've been sharing about yourself, which is awesome, but are there someone who comes to you, Andy? I I need to be able to play the piano and of life and the emotions and the experiences that I have from most
guys are going to identify with feeling broken or useless or that to having that full range and and being adept to be aware. Do you have someone or a story that comes to mind around that transformation? Yeah, one of the biggest transformations I saw with a client, this is a man who had was about to retire.
So, seems successful in all ways. >> Yeah, sure. Good family. >> Okay, you made it. You got you got the money in the bank. You're ready to retire. Live the high life, right? >> Yeah. Who am I without the job? He was approaching a divorce and they had just been kind of like living a lie of convenience for a long time. Now everything's falling apart.
And he had a lot of stories from the past, a lot of child abuse, a lot of religious abuse, all the all these horrible things that was still with him. So we did a lot of energy work, got work to like release, release, release. And anyway, his from the first session, he shared like his dream was to sail the world, literally just live in a boat and go travel around like, "Oh, that's really cute.
" you know, end of six months working together, he bought a boat and sailed the world. Like I've never I was the first impression I had with someone like literally helped him create his dream cuz even as he shared it, it was like an impossible thing. But this is my vision >> and he's willing to feel we, you know, he grieved, he let go. >> Um, yeah, it was the most powerful physical manifestation, transformation as well as emotional one that that that I had had.
That's that's huge to see that that shift and change. I recently last year had someone lose 50 pounds and decide that they were going to leave upstate New York to move down to Myrtle Beach a little ways away to get into a better situation, a better environment, be closer to their grandchild to they had the confidence, the energy, the ability to to overcome the challenges that kept them stuck in New York with a a career.
they had a career 15 plus years in this office and quit that and and found another job down there. And there's so many challenges that they would overcome through that confidence of losing the weight and having energy. So I I think you and I probably are are those are our drugs to or what we're hooked on is seeing those those milestone transformations help get someone unstuck and get them actually doing something with themselves, their life.
And and I know that's a a big reason why I do what I do for sure. So many people and men's especially have put themselves into a voluntary slavery. They tell like they've got the success and they tell even it doesn't feel successful anymore but like I can't leave this job. I can't you know the golden handcuffs all these different cliches and metaphors but >> right >> we all have the freedom like we live in a fantastic time a fantastic country.
We can get up. We can quit any job we want. We can move anywhere we want. Like it's amazing. So every time someone meets someone, they go, "Oh, I can't do this. I can't do that." Like that's that's the first thing to start cracking open. Like no, >> I choose to stay at this job I don't like because they pay me a lot.
Big difference from like I can't leave. >> Right. Right. Right. Right. >> No, I I agree with that wholeheartly because I've seen people do that. Like literally another guy Jay, he lost 100 over 100 pounds and his wife was just hanging out with us. She lost 40. And so between them, they lost 150 pounds in their relationship and they ended up with a baby.
I said, "Jay, could you could you not keep your hands off her or she not keep her hands off you? Like what's going on over there?" And we're laughing and and this was over the course of probably 18 months. But he ended up quitting his job and going out on his own as well because of that confidence, that energy, that ability to just step out from what he perceives is what where he's at now to what he needs to do or has to do now because of the the change.
Not even had this good way to do it, but what what he wants to do. There you go. What he wants to do moving forward and not just stay in this job because that's what he's been doing for x amount of time or whatever. That's where his skill set is. >> That's that's what I love most about anyone transform. If you truly transform one aspect of your life, it ripples through every other aspect of your life.
>> Yes. Yes. Uh a thousand%. Let's move into Authentic AF. What is it? What is it about? How do you help guys? >> So, Authentic AF is my men's community and it's where we can go deeper about podcast topics. Yeah, I I lead um monthly group meditations for men that think they can't meditate or that it's nonsense or whatever it is.
Uh I I love it because I've had multiple men that have never meditated and after the first session like wow like I felt that I can't believe I can do that, [laughter] you know. So it's great. >> I can just sit and be >> and it's just it's just a space to drop the mask to tell someone what's really going on with no fear of retribution.
I know it's a closed container. It's not a Facebook post somewhere, you know, no one can sneak in and use it against you. Um, but it's just a place to to drop the BS that we tell ourselves and tell other men. >> You know, it the simplest way I would call it, again, authentic is just being real, being genuine, >> right? >> Uh, the AF, I think what people know most days, but AF, my name, my name is Andrew Francis Grant.
And in high school, I was a guy making wrestling movies in my backyard and stuff. So my Hollywood name was AF Grant. So authentic AF is also me and also >> right >> that's awesome. So you're bringing your energy even past from really positive things from the past. It's your stamp on it but also we know what AF means too is like less less actually change.
>> So okay uh where do people find us real quick? That's I know it's a school group. >> Yep. So, the the easiest shortcut to get there is uh realmenfield.orggroup will redirect you right to that school community and it's free to direct. >> Excellent. Yep. I've been in there and and you're always posting and engaging with people which is good and you have it open.
Now, what else do you do? So, that's not the only thing you do, right? So, what what are other things that you do to help guys transition from some of the the lack of expression or even knowing where to go to get them to open up, to take off the mask, to be more of themselves. So, there were two organizations that again it's it's 10 years is the big deal.
Uh 10 years ago, I both got both these two organizations I'm very active in and encourage other men to join. One is the Mankind Project. They have a uh initiatory weekend called the new warrior training adventure. Um I discovered it because I had someone on my podcast years ago that talked about this. You know, I'd be willing to do this.
It's happening in six weeks, 20 minutes from my house. Okay, I really doing this. >> Yeah, right. There's no other reason not to. >> I went into it cocky, thinking, I've done all sorts of work. I'll go first and step forward. And I was balling. I was impactful. I discovered things about myself and healed issues with men that I didn't realize were there. I loved it.
I've since staffed. I've been involved with online groups. So, I take a lot of that with me, but I also, anyone that works with me one-on-one, I highly recommend. They they take that new warrior training adventure weekend. Um, the other big thing I'm part of is the modern mystery school. This is a hermetic lineage going back over 3,000 years to King Solomon of the Bible, the wise King Solomon.
He saw that all so it's energy work, it's meditation, it's prayer. I grew up with uh any sort of organized religion. So as a kid I thought that made me an atheist. >> Um one of the many things I'm wrong about and glad to be wrong about no. Uh God is real. There is more than just this flesh suit. And you can connect and feel that.
>> This past weekend I was sharing with you before the show I uh uh I was had my Viking initiation. So I was initiated in full regalia wearing furs and makeup and warrior energy and not to go raping and pillaging but to tap into that strength that that masculinity that lineage of people that were seeing the world and going where people haven't been and dealing with you know more and more and more and faster and faster and faster and getting some of that >> archetypal you know historic energy into me and I've been on fire since that.
[laughter] >> That's awesome. >> Yeah. So, I love, you know, once I realized I didn't have every answer and that I was supposed to be here, I was willing to try anything. >> Yeah. >> And the the ways that I work with people now are are things and tools and practices that I discovered in order to save my life. >> Okay.
>> When when I began this journey, I just wanted to feel better. I had no illusions of helping people or coaching or speaking. I actually dropped out of college to avoid a mandatory public speaking class. That's [laughter] how afraid of being seen I was. Right. >> Okay. Okay. >> So that's why I know anything that you are dealing with can be healed can be overcome.
Also anything that a man listening anything you're facing going through other men are as well and other men have successfully gotten through it too. >> And the best way for you to get through that is to let people know what's going on. right? Being open, being honest with yourself most importantly and then the people around you and forming new relationships.
Uh I will say there's four guys that I have in my circle. Two of them from high school. One another one. So that's Dan and Leo. We ran together in high school and we still they still get stupid gifts from Leo or whatever. We just horse around or whatever. Um, Dan is he's I see him like almost like twice a week now. We work out together.
Chris is another friend that I work out with and we've been he's known me basically my whole career. So, the last 20 years and in the last say three years we connected and he's he'll come over and work out with me. All three of us have four kids. So, we we're in good company and we we understand the challenge and the busyiness and the the things that we need to overcome.
So, it's a great place. And then Andy is another one, a middle school dad that is doing really cool big things. And he's got three kids and and it's just the life is is lifing and it's an easy way to express ourselves through exercise. And that's the identity that that I do or I bring to the table.
And even the call to rise program is 100 days to to get your body back in shape, nutrition, fitness, exercise. And and I tell everyone, Mike, there's a gentleman that actually I know from he knew me from the beginning of my career. He just joined and he had his first roundt conversation with us last night.
And I said, "Mike, you're going to be joining a bunch of other mics, bunch of other driven guys that don't have their health figured out. And we're going to go through figuring out ways so that you are equipped and understand how to manage what you put in your mouth, the all the challenges else as well so that you can get into healthy body and not have to worry about this anymore.
The the physical aspect because life is plenty hard enough otherwise as it is and throws its challenges at us. So that's awesome. Yeah, our pre-con conversation you came on because you're about to go to the the Viking event and you had your your your paint on and costume and I was like, "Oh, this is awesome.
" And then I've gotten to known you and seen you through through social media and different things. Tell us tell me about the uh the Halloween the the you dressing up. talk about that because that's just another exposure and and I literally watched you do it in post and you'd get all decorated as a zombie and go out and and do that and I was like, "Wow, this would actually be really fun and maybe that's something I can challenge myself next Halloween is go get a job and just go be just hang out in the for the haunted forest and like
and I would just have a blast and it would lighten me up a little bit." >> Yeah. There's a haunted attraction near me in Massachusetts called Witches Woods. And each year I'd see that they're opening and I and I love Halloween. I've always loved horror movies. My my wedding was a Halloween party. >> Awesome. >> You weren't allowed in without a costume. It was It was a blast.
>> That's awesome. >> So, >> three years ago, I was laid off. I'm like, crap, what am I going to do? And we had to down. My wife got laid off a few months after I got laid off. >> So, we we had sold our house. We were living in a hotel which was now literally a half a mile from this haunted attraction.
I'm like, I'm g I'm gonna go be a zombie. And I've been a zombie. I'm also a I'm in the Screen Actors Guild. I've been in zombies in a few movies. Okay. >> I'm like, I'm go be a zombie here and I'll just have fun. >> And I did. I had a blast. Most of my fellow zombies were 18, 19, 20 years old.
So, it was really a trip um to talk about just tick tock dances and vaping all day. Um, but it was such a great release to just chase people and like professionals [clears throat] make me up different each night and I was into it and I'm running and chasing and scaring and uh I'm do Yeah. And now it's every year but I'm so you know I didn't I always wanted to do it one of the gifts of being laid off.
I couldn't Well, it's Friday I'm tired now. Oh, I got to work all weekend anyway. No. So, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I get paid to terrorize people and it's it's the most fun job I've ever had in my life. >> That's awesome. I I will highly consider doing it [laughter] in October. That's awesome. Awesome. All right. Excellent.
Well, let's let's wrap up. Andy, let's leave the guy listening in that has been impacted. He's made it this far in the conversation. What is one thing you would tell them that would help shift their trajectory, the challenge, the stuckness that they might be feeling or the the one note or even the there is no keyboard? They don't see they don't see the keys to play.
What would you tell them? [snorts] >> I invite you to realize that you're not broken. You're not hopeless. and to name that yearning you have. >> Yeah, >> you we all know when something's wrong, but we don't know what it is unless we're willing to sit with it. So, sit, feel, and if you don't, you know, where does my body feel tight, right? Where does my elbow hurt? What what is my elbow trying to tell me? So, just have a conversation alone with yourself.
Invite some clarity and some awareness. And then the easier thing to connect with someone else if you've got a buddy that you're kind of worried about, how are you? Right? Really, right? Give that pause. Really? So it's not how are you fine? No. How are you really? You know, grab a buddy by their shoulders. Don't let them just grunt and walk by.
Like give let someone know that you're a safe container to share what is really going on. That's what men need, right? But it starts with a moment of integrity of being honest with yourself that something is up. And if you need help figuring out what it is or working on it, ask that we live in an amazing time. It is so easy to connect with experts.
So you can go to YouTube, learn something, you can, you know, everything everything. uh listen to podcasts like this, join a men's group, uh check out the Mankind Project, check out Authentic AF, Real Men Field. There are so many resources, but until we are willing to explore, willing to be honest, to have that moment of integrity with ourselves, the resources are they're invisible.
Yeah. Yeah. They definitely they just don't exist until you start to open your eyes and then you start seeing. That's excellent. Well, Andy, it's been a pleasure to be on your podcast, to have you on mine, to see you. You're literally one of the first uh realels that I see on TikTok all the time. So, I always give you a heart.
This is the easy like boom to support this guy to keep doing really good things. We need to send people to the Authentic AF school group to connect with you to Real Men Feel podcast. You can listen to that literally today. There's almost 400 episodes and and there's a wealth of knowledge and experience and and stories from your guests that have been on as well.
So, I really appreciate you coming on. Is there any other place or things you'd like to tell them to to have them go? >> I want every man to know and hear and receive. You are worthy. So many guys doubt that weren't praised. Whatever whatever the old wound is, it hits us in our worthiness of something better. But there's always something better.
You're worthy. And that's where we're going to close out. Driven for Health podcast episode 73. Thank you so much for coming. Check Andy out. Go listen to him. Go join this school group. and links will be in the show notes. And off we go.